


Last Love Song

by Ladytalon



Series: The Doctors Light [15]
Category: DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Miscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-08-14
Packaged: 2018-04-14 16:41:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 32,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4571934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladytalon/pseuds/Ladytalon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set on <b>Earth-14</b> where the Doctors Light are in a romantic relationship and following the events of <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/3832099">A Leap Of Faith</a>. Arthur has been exiled along with many of his fellow supervillains to the planet Salvation and Kimiyo is left to figure out how to adjust to life without him while she tries to discover some way to get him back.  When she’s all but given up hope, the villains return but Arthur isn’t the same man who left six months earlier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The headlines are everywhere, almost as if they were specifically designed to jump out at her as a constant, cruel reminder that the man she loves is gone. Ted immediately offered her a leave of absence, which Kimiyo has already rejected beyond opting to come in on Monday morning. Kara refuses to leave her side, as if she’s afraid Kimiyo will jump into the bathtub with a hairdryer.

Kimiyo has gone beyond exhaustion, flipping through the channels on the TV in an effort to learn something (anything!) about where Arthur is. The only thing she’s discovered is that the President did indeed sign off on it, and the general consensus is that today is the perfect day for a party. Celebrations are being held all across the continent and despite how hard it is for her to see the constant montage of children being hoisted on shoulders waving American flags and people dancing in the streets, she can certainly understand their jubilation. Why should they care that she’s lost the one person that her heart is crying for? It’s not _their_ problem.

“You shouldn’t watch,” Kara says to her, trying to take the remote control from her hands. “It’s not good for you.”

She raises her head and focuses on her best friend. “Why are you pretending to care? You hated him, and couldn’t wait to tell me about it. Go _dancing_ , Karen Starr,” she says viciously.

Power Girl just looks at her. “I’m here because of _you_ , and I won’t apologize for not thinking he was ever good enough for you. I’m here because I’m worried about you, Kim.”

“I’m fine,” Kimiyo lies. “So you can just get out of here-”

“How long has it been since you’ve slept?” Kara interrupts.

What does that have to do with anything? “Just _go_ , Kara.”

The other woman gives her an exasperated look not unlike the one that Arthur had given her when he’d thought she was overreacting, and the comparison makes her inhale sharply because she’ll be damned if she gives Kara the satisfaction- “Kim? Oh, shit, _Kim_ …”

Kimiyo rubs away the tears standing in her eyes, sniffling and fending off Kara’s outstretched arms. “You know what? You’re right. I haven’t slept at all, and I’m tired, but the children will be home from school in a few hours and…”

“Why don’t you try to get some sleep, and I’ll take care of everything,” Kara soothes. “Don’t worry about it. I mean, uh, I’ll… just take care of it.”

“Thanks.” Kimiyo goes to barricade herself in the bedroom, and is immediately struck by the indentation in the pillows where they’d lay together just a few hours earlier. She slowly climbs into the bed and puts her hand on the pillow he'd used, wondering what might have happened if she'd never opened her heart to him. This almost feels like she's being punished somehow, which is illogical since it's obviously been in the works for some time - no one could possibly orchestrate the removal of so many people overnight. Kimiyo wonders suddenly how many of her teammates knew about this and decided that she not be informed, despite realizing the impact it would have on her. Maybe that old saying about chickens coming home to roost is appropriate in this situation... it just feels intensely personal to her. What are the odds that, when she finally decides to be completely open and honest with Arthur, she'd lose him not even two hours later? 

She'll need to choose some sort of coping mechanism, and soon. Just as she'd told Arthur, she has responsibilities that have to come first... Kimiyo simply doesn't have the luxury of allowing herself to fall apart. Perhaps it will be easier to pretend that he'll be back. She covers her face with her hands so that she doesn't have to see his pillow, and curls up so that her legs don't swing out in search of any residual body heat on the other side of the bed. It could be just like what you're supposed to tell small children when the family pets die: _”We sent Fluffy to the country to play with her friends, sweetheart. Why don't you draw her a picture and I'll put it in the mail?”_ Then you trash the lovingly crafted picture, wash the wax crayon residue off of your hands, and lie through your teeth until the kid forgets about their pet. Kimiyo glances over at the reward chart, knowing that Arthur would just shake his head and laugh at being compared to a dead rabbit. She rolls onto her back to stare up at the ceiling, hearing the muted sounds of voices in the living room - Kara's called for backup. She's still trying to guess whom else is out there when she falls asleep.

When Kimiyo wakes up, the shadows in the room have lengthened considerably and she can hear Yasu and Imako arguing over something. She's still tired but knows that she can't stay in bed indefinitely, so she gets up and promptly trips over a pair of Converse far too large to belong to her son. Kimiyo can't picture Arthur ever wearing them, but they're obviously his... she presses her hand over her mouth and blinks back tears, then kicks the shoes underneath the bed where she doesn't have to look at them. Common sense says that she'll be finding reminders of him just about everywhere and that she needs to get used to it, but not just yet and _certainly_ not today. 

"Mommy!" Imako cries out as soon as she marshals the strength to emerge from her bedroom. "Are you feeling better? Auntie Dinah said you were real tired and needed sleep, so we were s'posed to be super quiet," her daughter continues through her mouthful of pizza.

"You were very quiet, sweetie," Kimiyo says wearily, and it's almost too much of an effort to stretch her mouth into a smile. Indeed, 'Auntie' Dinah is perched on the corner of the couch with a book in her hands. "Thanks, Dinah."

Canary gives her a warm smile. "It was no trouble at all, Kim. They're great kids. I hope you don't mind me bringing pizza for them," she says apologetically. There's absolutely no sign of false sympathy about her, and the very normal body language she's projecting makes Kimiyo relax. "Homework's done and there's more than enough pizza left, if you'd like a slice. I just stuck the boxes in the oven to keep them warm."

“Thank you,” she says politely, wondering how she can make Dinah leave without causing everyone to shake their heads and call her _poor thing_. It’s probably too late for that, so Kimiyo figures she has nothing to lose by facing the issue head-on. “While I appreciate the help-”

“You’d rather be alone, is that it?” the other woman asks. “I can certainly understand that. If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to call.”

Kimiyo finds that wearing a false smile gets easier the more practice she gets. “Of course,” she lies. “Thank you again.” 

Canary gazes at her for a moment, then nods and turns to the kids. “Okay, Hoshlets! I’ve got to get back before Uncle Ollie burns the house down making toast again. Be good to your mom, okay? She’s had a rough day.”

The children nod in unison, turning their eyes to Kimiyo. “How will you get home?” Yasu asks, his question ending in a belch that embarrasses him and makes his little sister giggle. “’Scuse me.”

“A friend is giving me a lift,” she says and dispenses hugs before reaching out to grasp Kimiyo’s hand. “Goodnight.” Dinah leaves after tousling Imako’s hair one last time, and Kimiyo doesn’t have to look outside to see her disappear in a blur as Wally comes by to take her home.

She doesn’t feel up to eating anything, so she gets herself a glass of water and sits at the table. “I’m sorry I wasn’t awake when you got home from school,” Kimiyo says matter-of-factly. 

“Do you feel better?” Yasu asks, reaching for another piece of pizza. “Kara was here waiting for us, but then she brought Aunt Dinah because she had something else to do. She said that she would come back as soon as she could,” he says. When she thanks him, her son shifts in his chair and starts shredding a paper napkin into his lap. “Um. Mom?”

Of course he would have heard. “Yes, it’s true.”

Yasu looks down at his plate, then up at her again. “But he promised he’d help with my science fair project,” he protests. 

“I’m sure he’s very sorry that he can’t do that now.”

Imako has been looking back and forth between them. “Who’s sorry?”

“Finish your pizza, honey.” Kimiyo stands up and moves into the kitchen so that she can have a few moments to compose herself, then opens the oven door to retrieve the two half-empty pizza boxes. It’s easily condensed into one, and she takes it out to the table in case anyone wants another slice. Yasu is still plainly disgruntled and Kimiyo tells herself that, of _course_ a boy at his age would be more focused on his own inconvenience… yet maybe it’s better this way, since he hadn’t formed a bond with Arthur quite like the one that Imako had. _Responsibilities first_ , she thinks as she gazes at her daughter. It’ll be rough going once Imako truly understands that ‘big brother’ won’t be coming back to let her paint his nails or spoil her rotten by bringing her treats that Kimiyo has always turned a blind eye towards, or even serve as an impromptu unicorn during playtime. Yasu will most likely revert to his customary distrust of all male authority figures, and demand to see his absentee father.

Thankfully, the knowledge of Kimiyo’s relationship with Arthur hasn’t spread beyond family, friends and their particular set of ‘co-workers,’ none of who are about to advertise his disappearance to anyone who might use it to harass her children. In the event that someone _does_ mention anything to Imako, Kimiyo will have to prepare her… tomorrow, she decides. She simply doesn’t have the strength for it tonight. 

The kids finish up and clamor for ice cream – well, _Imako_ does while her brother stares down at the table brooding over his project for the science fair – so Kimiyo gives a magnanimous wave of her hand towards the freezer, and her youngest is off like a shot. While she’s capering around trying to get herself a bowl from the cabinet, Yasu looks up at her again and she stifles a sigh because she knows what’s coming. To his credit, he checks to make sure his little sister is out of earshot before asking a question that Kimiyo has been trying very hard not to think about. “Mom? Is he dead?”

Kimiyo takes a deep breath and rubs a hand over her breastbone before she answers. “I don’t know, sweetheart. I hope not.”

He shifts uncomfortably. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I mean… me, too. He was okay.”

It causes her another pang at how easily Arthur has been relegated to the past tense. “Yes, he _is_.”

“Sorry, Mom.”

“Go get some ice cream before she eats it all,” she advises quietly. 

The kids finish their dessert and Kimiyo lets them watch a movie before bed while she checks their rooms for dirty laundry and makes sure they’re ready for school in the morning. The phone rings just as she finishes rinsing off the plates and putting them into the dishwasher, and Kimiyo sighs upon seeing Kara's name on the Caller ID. She snags the phone off the wall and lifts her shoulder to help keep it pinned against her ear while she dries her hands. "Yes?"

 _"I think we found out where they are_ ," Kara says immediately. " _Can you get to the Watchtower tomorrow morning? Clark's called a full League meeting at nine._ "

Kimiyo closes her eyes and grips the phone tightly. "You've found them."

" _Technically you're not supposed to know that until tomorrow, so you're welcome. I'm pretty sure he kind of threw that in there because he knew I'd tell you._ "

"Why are _you_ -" 

" _JSA's coming up, too; all hands on deck,_ " Kara says. " _He didn't exactly say, but I think we'll be off to beard Waller in her den once he's sure he's got the majority on board._ "

She wonders what side Kara is on, but ultimately decides not to ask. It'll come out one way or the other. "Thank you."

Kara is silent for such a long time that Kimiyo starts to think she's hung up, then sighs. " _I wish this didn't have to happen to you, Kim. I know I've said some hurtful things that I shouldn't have, when it was your choice. I'm really sorry."_

Of course she can afford to be - _stop it!_ She readjusts her grip on the phone and looks up at the ceiling to marshal her thoughts. "I can't have this conversation right now, Kara. I'll see you up there tomorrow. Thank you for calling." she hangs up and swivels her head towards the door, waiting to see if Power Girl is going to zoom through it and demand a heart-to-heart. Thankfully, the door stays closed and Kara doesn't call back. Kimiyo slowly finishes cleaning the kitchen and gives the rest of the apartment a once-over, but there's only so many times she can straighten cushions and look for nonexistent dust motes.

There's only one place left that she hasn't polished and cleaned to within an inch of its life, and she knows she'll have to face it anyway so why not get to it? She makes sure the doors are bolted, then slowly makes her way into her bedroom. From the doorway, Kimiyo can see the shoes beneath her bed and gazes around the room to catalogue what she'll have to box up so that she won't have constant reminders of Arthur everywhere she looks. "Right," she announces to thin air. "Boxes." There should be a few in the hall closet, so she finds them and dumps the packing peanuts into a trash bag before placing it on the bed. The black Converse go inside it first, and the reward chart needs to be rolled up before it's stowed safely. A few condoms from her bedside table that they'd stopped using once Kimiyo had discovered that she had the ability to alter her internal temperature to prevent pregnancy... a process that Arthur had termed _sperm flambé_. "You're always laughing at everything," she tells the pair of shoes. "Looks like something finally shut you up."

She scours the room to find another (empty) condom wrapper, a chemist supply catalog that has a jewelry store flyer tucked into it, the glove he'd been going insane trying to find last month, and two - hopefully clean - socks that don't match. Kimiyo knows that she should really add the outfit that's currently taking up space in the nightstand on the other side of her bed and even pulls it out, but ends up lifting the neatly folded pile and burying her nose in it. Arthur had worn it just long enough for his scent to be all over the fabric, and Kimiyo breathes it in. Thankfully the man put on his _other_ aftershave, rather than the god-awful cheap cologne he practically bathed in before heading out to knock over a jewelry store - he'd explained it once, when Kimiyo had complained of the stench: _"If you were a cop, would_ you _want to arrest me? The precinct benches are made out of material that absorbs odor quickly and won't let go... I've been let off the hook more times than I can count when the arresting officer smelled me_." The only time she could stand to be around him when he’d been up to no good was if she had a head cold, and kept a stash of Febreze just to decontaminate the apartment after he left.

His shirt smells like a mix of the nice aftershave and the soap Kimiyo had picked out for him and when she breathes in the scent of him, the tears she’d tried to suppress earlier fill her eyes to dampen the fabric that’s still held to her face. She grieves for their long history together, and the fact that it’s highly unlikely that it will extend past today. Kara had tried to give her hope that he’s still retrievable, but she’s been a mother too long not to be able to recognize a classic stalling tactic when she encounters one. It seems monstrously unfair to lose him just as she’d fully opened her heart to him – she doesn’t have to worry about searching for another apartment, or wonder what her children would think if they decided to marry. No more reaching through a chain link prison fence to touch his fingers, or the anxiety of standing outside the processing room that’s suddenly relieved when he walks through and she sees the look on Arthur’s face when he realizes that she’s there waiting. Kimiyo hugs the shirt to her chest before she realizes that her own scent will overpower his, and then she arranges it carefully on the other side of the bed. She lies down and seizes a pillow in her arms instead, and cries herself to sleep while she mourns all the memories they won’t have a chance to make together. 

In the morning, she gets the kids off to school and dresses for battle - there might be no supervillains left to spar with, but this might be one of the most important fights of her life and she'll be damned if she's not going to be ready to win it. It's hard to counsel herself out of false hope, but even knowing exactly where he is would be something to help ease her heart. 

The other heroes are still assembling at the Hall when she arrives at half past eight, and more than a few stop their conversations when they see her approach. Kimiyo turns her head to gaze at those who have guilty expressions on their faces and is even tempted to approach an especially remorseful-looking Adam Strange, but in the end she simply lifts her chin and continues on past. Kimiyo isn’t exactly certain how all of them will actually fit inside the satellite, but she supposes Zatanna Zatara will provide a solution to the crowd control problem.

She hasn’t been the object of this much scrutiny in quite some time – it seems as if everyone is talking behind their hands and watching her, and Kimiyo wonders if they expect her to start wailing and tearing at her hair. Arthur would probably advise her to fall to her knees and howl “ _whyyyy_ ” at the ceiling, and she can envision him demonstrating with his usual flair for the dramatic. The mental image makes her smile as she steps inside the teleportation device and is transferred aboard the Watchtower. As she’d expected, the main conference area has been magically enlarged and there’s more than enough room for everyone. Clark immediately excuses himself from conversation with Doctor Mid-nite and makes a beeline for her, reaching for her hands. “Kimiyo, I’m so sorry about Arthur.”

“Why, is he dead already?” Kimiyo asks before she has time to think about what she’s saying.

Superman smiles and squeezes her hands gently. “I doubt it very much. I’ve yet to meet a more stubborn man.”

That’s true enough. “Thank you, Clark.”

“Will you come up with us?” he queries, gesturing towards the makeshift podium where Bruce is talking with Diana. 

The offer is kindly meant, but Kimiyo doesn’t feel like being put on display. “No. I don’t think so.”

Clark nods thoughtfully, glancing around... he's no doubt heard the whispers. "I can understand that."

The meeting gets underway at precisely 9:00, and Kimiyo finds a spot near the windows where she can remain more or less anonymous. The display features several of the newspaper headlines they've already seen, but it's definitely an attention-grabber and the murmurs quiet down as Clark hovers just above the podium so that they can all see him. "As we all know, the majority of supervillains that we've all crossed paths with have been subjected to deportation by order of the President. Numerous requests to meet with the Executive branch have been either ignored or denied outright but despite this, we've been able to not only pinpoint their location, but we also have placed an operative within their midst." Kimiyo opens her eyes wide at this, but they narrow quickly. If the League had time to introduce a mole to the group of deportees, how hard would it have been to issue an actual warning - or, better yet, stop the transfer outright? His eyes flick over to her as if he's heard her thoughts. "We still do not have an accurate headcount or list of individuals placed upon the planet, but that situation will change as soon as we establish a reliable means of communication with our operative."

Bruce steps up next, looking faintly annoyed that he won't be seen nearly as well as a flying Kryptonian. "We've been able to discover where they've been taken" he gestures to make a large diagram appear overhead "which was discovered by Checkmate during routine surveillance. The planet known as Salvation appears to be nothing less than a paradise. Checkmate's servers were scrubbed clean of information, but we have managed to reconstruct several damaged files regarding the villains'...relocation. It's been clearly documented that they were _not_ sent with any supplies or survival gear.”

The murmurs start up again as Diana claims the podium and reminds them that the supervillains not only left behind spouses in some cases (which causes quite a few heads to be turned in Kimiyo's direction despite the fact that she and Arthur were never married and weren't even planning on it), but that a number of children have been orphaned without any effort on Checkmate's behalf to ensure they're taken care of. "Of course, there will be a continued effort on our behalf to bring them home."

"Why?" the question rings out above the other hushed conversation, and Kimiyo looks over to see Holly Granger stepping forward despite the embarrassed efforts of her sister to hold her back. "There isn't a single person here who hasn't been targeted by one or more of them - I say good riddance. We've all seen the celebrations; _nobody wants them back_."

Kimiyo has never felt more like slapping someone more than she does at this moment, despite the fact that she can understand where Hawk is coming from. After all, wouldn't she feel the same if not for her ties to Arthur? Diana gives the young woman a searching look before she speaks again. "Celebrants or no, that does not change the fact that a grave injustice has been committed under the thin guise of legality. The forced removal of the supervillain community, including all those who were not incarcerated, represents a very real human rights violation that cannot be condoned or ignored."

To her credit, Holly doesn't back down though patches of red appear on her cheeks. "The public doesn't want them to come back, and I don't think anyone here can blame them."

"Perhaps not," Wonder Woman says gently. "Yet is any one of the exiles less of a person than any of the members of the public who do not want them to return? Are they worth so much less that they do not deserve the fundamental human rights we are all entitled to? If this is the kind of precedent our governing body sets without protest, what might come next? If the Executive Branch of the United States government can eradicate the presence of whatever group they find undesirable... can no one see where that might lead?"

Arguments erupt immediately, which the three founding members of the League do nothing to stop. The loud conversations run their course while Diana folds her arms across her chest, looking satisfied that everyone seems to finally realize the full implications of the President's decision.

"Executive Order or not, you can't just abduct and _relocate_ someone-"

"-better off without them, but what if-"

"-still think we should _leave_ them-"

"There you are," Kara says, appearing in front of her suddenly. "I've been looking everywhere for you."

Kimiyo smiles tightly. "I was offered a place up there, but I declined. I'm not about to let anyone make an example of me no matter how well intentioned they are about it. At least I have a fair shot at overhearing any gossip being spread about me, if anyone feels bored enough to speculate about my love life."

"Well, it's not as if you're the only one who's been jumping the fence," Kara says. "It's almost become like a rite of passage for a lot of these guys to bag a 'bad girl' - it's just sensational because you're a woman which means you're supposed to be more responsible, somehow. Gotta love sexism in action, huh?"

"You've got that right," she agrees, looking over at Clark. It's clear that they want the crowd they've gathered to talk things out and she supposes that she should feel impressed that they've managed to maneuver most of them into supporting their agenda. It's manipulative, but everything they've said is true. "I wonder who Checkmate failed to bring in - there's no way that they've got them all," Kimiyo muses. She'd bet good money that Noah had caught wind of the plan and is hiding out somewhere, and she wonders if she can find a way to get in contact with him; it'll be useful to have two separate inquiries into exactly who was taken. 

A consensus is finally reached after Batman steps up to take charge of the gathering, and the majority of them vote to meet with Amanda Waller. Kimiyo isn't exactly sure what it will accomplish because from all accounts, Belle Reve’s most infamous sub-contractor had only been a tool wielded by Checkmate and the President. Even if she had refused, the deportation would just have been headed by someone else – Kimiyo might not like Amanda Waller, but she _does_ respect her; it’s not easy being a female authority figure, especially in a place like Belle Reve Penitentiary. Waller would have done the job regardless of her personal views about her orders.

Her desire to ‘beard Waller in her den,’ as Kara had put it last night, abruptly fades into the same numbness that she’s consigned the rest of her emotions to. Oh, she plans on talking to Amanda… but she’ll do it on her own. Taking the League and all its branches will just serve to antagonize the other woman and make her refuse to discuss the operation altogether. With that in mind, Kimiyo waits long enough to see if any new information will be discussed – most of it is simply rehashing what little they already know and though she’d dearly love to know which ‘operative’ had been sent along for the ride, she’ll find out soon enough when they report in for the first time. Her eyes return to the screen displaying the picture of Salvation. _I’ll get you back somehow,_ Kimiyo thinks. _Stay safe, you big pain in the ass_. She zones out while they're still discussing where they'll gather to approach Belle Reve, and she wonders just what concessions Amanda might make if she's warned of the planned 'invasion.' Kimiyo excuses herself, ostensibly to visit the restroom, and pulls her phone out as soon as she exits the main hall. "I need you to shut down the EM shield around your office," she says as soon as the other woman answers.

 _"Who is this?_ "

"You know exactly who this is. Shut it down, Amanda."

Kimiyo listens to the static on the other end before Waller finally arrives at her decision. “ _You have five minutes_.”

“I’ll have as long as I want,” she corrects, “And I’ll be there in twenty minutes.” She slides the phone back in the pocket she’d paid Paul Gambi to add to her suit, moving purposefully towards the transporters. It’s almost too easy with no one trying to stop her and talk, but she’s almost reached her destination when Kimiyo hears her name being called. She can simply pretend she doesn’t hear, but she recognizes Tora’s voice so she turns around.

Tora rushes up and flings her arms around Kimiyo. “If you need anything, I’m here,” Ice says. There’s no mention of Arthur, and Kimiyo’s eyes sting at how thoughtful and kind her friend has always been. 

“Thank you.”

Mindful of the fact that she doesn’t really like public displays of affection, Tora immediately steps back. “I’m sorry, I interrupted you – were you going home?”

“Not exactly,” Kimiyo says. “I have an….errand…to run first.”

Tora narrows her eyes. “You’re going to see her before everyone else goes, aren’t you? No, don’t answer – I need plausible deniability in case Kara asks me,” she says, throwing a hand up. “I’ll get out of your way, but do you think it would be okay if I came over later? I don’t want to intrude…”

She reaches out to take the other woman’s hands in her own. “Behind that sweet, innocent face lurks a mind like a steel trap and God help anyone who tries to take advantage. Give me a call in a few hours; I’m not sure if I’ll be up to any more socializing… I’ve got to get going.” Tora promises to hide her trail and Kimiyo has to smile as she steps into the transporter which takes her down to the Hall. Once there, she ducks into an alcove to teleport to Amanda Waller’s office in Belle Reve.

The large woman is waiting for her with a neutral expression on her face, drumming her fingers atop her desk. “I’m not going to bring him back, so don’t even bother asking.”

Kimiyo lifts her chin. “I wouldn’t expect you to, which is something you already know.”

“Why bother coming here at all?”

“You’re about to have a _lot_ of visitors,” Kimiyo says, walking over to a bulletin board to examine the stack of MSDS pinned there. “I don’t suppose you had one of these printed up about Chemo.”

Waller gives her a look. “You came here to look at the material data safety sheets and warn me about visitors?”

“Yes. What exactly is it worth to you if I tell you that Superman is gathering together a group who will attempt to pressure you into bringing the villains back?”

“Not much, Doctor Hoshi. Anyone could have guessed that was their next move… I’m simply wondering what has taken them so long.” The other woman shakes her head and reaches out to rearrange a few of the pens on her desk. “Why don’t you tell me what you want to know, and I’ll decide whether to answer your questions or not.”

Kimiyo suppresses an urge to roll her eyes, and walks over to sit down uninvited. “Let me guess; for every question _I_ have, you’ll have one of your own… is that the way that this works? Quid pro quo?” _If Arthur were here right now, he’d probably bellow ‘Clarice’ at me_. “Fine. Why was he even called in? He had no outstanding warrants - as I’ve been constantly mentioning to absolutely everyone - and his last parole ended almost three months ago.”

Waller picks up one of the pens and rolls it between her fingers. “It was in the orders, which I shall _not_ go into detail about, to gather up individuals who met certain criteria. In Light’s case… he couldn’t be picked up on the basis of any warrants but we could pull him via his involvement with Task Force X, so off he went. Now, since we’re _trading information_ … I’m going to guess that he told you about that mission in Bialya.”

She’s surprised that Waller’s going to waste a question on this when she has to already know the answer to it, but it’s not as if he can get into any more trouble than he’s already in. What’s she going to do, bring him back and deport him again? “He told me that he hadn’t meant to bring the helicopter down.”

“Really. No pillow talk about attempted murder?”

Kimiyo smiles tightly. “Who said there wasn’t? He _didn’t_ mean to bring the ‘copter down…because you weren’t in it. Arthur was told that you’d be in the lead, and he took the shot with that information in mind.”

The other woman leans back in her chair. “Well, well. For all his show of incompetence it seems he really _does_ have a clue, after all.”

“Arthur prefers for people – you, in particular, Amanda – to find him so cowardly and inept that he can get by with minimum supervision. He was even able to slip your collar before the prison changed the frequency to constant rotation,” Kimiyo says incautiously before realizing that Waller was purposely prodding her to divulge more information than she intended. Again, it’s not as if she can do anything else to Arthur by now… and Kimiyo feels satisfaction upon seeing the surprise on the other woman’s face. “You’re certainly not the only person who’s severely underestimated Arthur Light. Now, I believe it’s my turn.”

“Please,” Waller invites.

Kimiyo fights to keep her face expressionless. “Why did you do it? _How_ could you do it?”

Waller gets up from her chair and walks to the same bulletin board that Kimiyo had been staring at earlier. “I did it because I was ordered to, Doctor. I did it because if I didn’t, someone else would and not all of the detainees would reach Salvation alive.”

“Oh, so you’re the hero here – is that it?”

“This planet is better off without them, Doctor Hoshi, and if you weren’t so close to the issue you’d realize it too. The fact is, I struggled with the decision... and I still struggle with it now. I even asked Rick if he thought we were doing the right thing, and even now I’m not sure that we did, but society _is_ better off.”

“The ends justifying the means yet again, I see.”

“Something like that, yes.”

Kimiyo puts her hands on the armrests of the battered chair and pushes to her feet. “Both the ends and the means can go fuck themselves. Now, if you have any other questions for me you’d better make it quick because I’m sick of being here.”

The big woman tilts her head. “Just one… what in the world were you thinking, getting involved with that man?”

Ah, the million dollar question. “Haven’t you ever been in love?”

“This isn’t about me.”

“If you haven’t, I feel sorry for you. If you _have_ , I feel even worse.”

“That’s your answer?”

“That’s it,” she agrees. “Enjoy your ‘better’ society, Amanda.” 

The next few weeks are a blur of activity; monitor duty at the Watchtower, evading responsibility for Waller's early warning, and tracking down the other families that were ripped apart by the President's decision. To give herself time to sort through Arthur's possessions, Kimiyo contacts his landlady who is upset at losing a paying tenant but the woman’s irritability gains a crafty edge to it once it’s made clear that Arthur’s rent will be paid for three more months. Kimiyo has no illusions about his apartment being fair game for some leisurely larceny (and who the hell knows what he’s been keeping in there) so she’s forced to contact Zatanna for a ‘lock’ spell – when her friend shows up, however, she has a cardboard box in her hands and another spell in mind. “I do this whenever I decide to move… it’s so much easier than packing every little thing, you know? _Knirhs stnetnoc fo tnemtrapa dna tup onti xob!_ ”

The room around them flickers and disappears. Kimiyo blinks in surprise and peers into the box Zatanna had placed on the floor – there, in miniature, are the contents of Arthur’s apartment. “Wow. That _is_ easy.”

Her friend grins. “Great, huh? Now, keep in mind that when you unpack it – I’ll give you the counterspell – it needs to be in a space that’s roughly the same amount of square feet or there could be problems with things fusing into the walls. Of course if that’s not possible, just reach in and scoot stuff together tightly before the spell gets reversed. Anything like appliances and furniture are automatically excluded from the spell so you’ll have to check around to make sure you have everything before you lock up for the last time…oh,” Zatanna says, abruptly remembering where she is. “God, I’m sorry – I didn’t mean…”

“It’s fine,” Kimiyo assures her. “I’ve had so many people saying that to me that I’ve gotten used to it by now.”

“I really _am_ sorry, Kim. I know you loved him a lot.”

“That’s also true.”

“He mooned me once.”

“Oh, for god’s sake. When was this?”

“I was doing some shows in Vegas about ten years back. He paid for a ticket and everything.”

“Ten years…? Well, you can’t lay _that_ one at my doorstep.”

Zatanna laughs suddenly. “Arthur was always such a pain in the ass. I think he tried to pull one over on each one of us, like he had a schedule or something – Dad got him _really_ good once; remind me to tell you about that sometime.”

Kimiyo has the feeling that every single League member has a story like that, and the thought makes her smile. “He was constantly up to no good.” 

“Amen to that. You know? Bruce mentioned something about figuring out who warned Amanda Waller that we were coming.”

“Did he.”

Her friend smirks. “He _did_ ".

Zatanna leaves and Kimiyo puts her hands on her hips, looking around the now startlingly empty apartment as she tries to remember if Arthur had said anything about buying furniture. Nothing in here had ever looked new, but she doesn't want to leave anything of his here. The couch is the exact same one she'd helped him steal from a pawnshop a few months back, so Kimiyo decides to use it as a staging area. She puts the cardboard box down in the middle of it and begins opening cabinets, dumping their contents into the garbage bags she'd brought along with her.

Most of what's in the refrigerator needs to be thrown away, and in a sudden rush of mean-spiritedness she decides to booby trap the doors so that the landlady will pay the price for her upcoming attempted theft. Kimiyo sets out the most noxious items for later use, and heads into the bedroom with the remaining bags - there's surprisingly little left since Zatanna's spell had swept up his clothes from the closet. She clears out the nightstand and finds some of her own undergarments that she doesn't remember leaving, along with several items she remembers quite well. _Those_ get shoved into her purse immediately, and another bagful needs to be taken to the couch before she returns to look around. The bed is too big for her to take and she doesn’t have any place for it anyway, so perhaps she should just leave it… Kimiyo sighs and sits down on the mattress, then stretches out and stares up at the ceiling. She’s spent countless hours in Arthur’s bed but he’s always made her stay on her own side for whatever reason, so she decides to roll over into ‘his’ spot. She goes from reasonably cushioned support to a lumpy sand dune-like wallow that has her struggling back up to her hands and knees. What in the world-? Kimiyo goes over to her customary sleeping side to test the mattress there, then moves back to the inexplicably _weird_ spot. _Maybe Artie stole it from the factory before they finished putting all the springs in_.

Why would springs be missing? It doesn’t make any sense, unless… “Goddamn it, Arthur!” Kimiyo yells at the ceiling, jumping off of the bed and going to the kitchen in search of a knife. What the hell had the man stashed in there?

Three kitchen knives go dull and another’s blade snaps before she surfaces from her irritation long enough to realize that she doesn’t need a knife. Placing her hand flat on the mattress, Kimiyo pulls a thread of light from the sunshine slanting through the tiny bedroom window and slices through the top of the mattress until the thick material can be peeled back. Half of the innards from the mattress have been removed, replaced with wooden boards to shore up the ‘intact’ half – along with several heavy canvas bags. She sighs heavily and pulls them out, wondering how long he’s been hiding these and how she hadn’t noticed earlier. Surely he couldn’t have simply distracted her every time she would have discovered the change in loft! “Let’s see… Gotham Federal, Star City National, First United, and Central Union Bank. Jesus _Christ_.” She chooses one at random and picks at the knot in the drawstring, then opens the bag and peers inside; sure enough, there are enough neatly tied stacks of cash to keep everyone in the surrounding area fed for a year. X-rays of the other bags show that most of them are full of cash, but two are packed with something else so she drags them aside and opens them carefully.

One of the bags has actual gold bullion inside it, and it’s so heavy it’s nearly impossible to move without her metagene’s assistance. The other is substantially lighter, because it’s full of tightly rolled maps and blueprints… Kimiyo wants to sit down and go through them since they might tell her exactly where all this money came from but the memory of the landlady’s face tells her that whatever else she does, she needs to get this out _now_. She steps back and surveys the mess that she now has to clean up, trying to figure out the best way to transport all of it. She finally decides upon putting everything back inside the mattress and hauling everything in that she’d placed on the couch. It’s a fair bet that the woman won’t come in and take _that_ before Kimiyo has a chance to move it, and she’ll have used up most of her energy teleporting the mattress so she won’t be able to return for at least a day or so. Once everything has been piled on top of the bed, Kimiyo slides a wedge of light beneath one corner of the mattress and concentrates on distributing it evenly so that she can lift it high enough for transport. The last time she’d seen this done, it was when Arthur had helped her organize her very first crime and he’d used the same technique to steal his couch. 

She teleports to her own bedroom and lets her load crash down on top of the bed, then slides down the wall to sit on the floor. “I should practice that more often,” she gasps, taking several deep breaths before opening her connection to Vega. The power rushes into her to fill her cells and Kimiyo closes her eyes, tilting her head back to enjoy the energy surge…the last time she’d felt anything like it was when-

Kimiyo’s eyes snap back open and she scrambles to her feet, lunging towards the doorway so that she can escape the room and the memories that just won’t let her be. _Get away from here, get out_ , her mind prompts her and there’s nothing she can do to stop herself from fleeing because of the sudden need to be anywhere but here. Her feet carry her through the living room and out the front door, and she breaks into a run as she reaches the stairs; their doorman almost falls off his chair in surprise when she comes barreling through the lobby. “Doctor Hoshi, let me…!”

“I’ve got it,” she calls back but she has no idea if he can hear her or not, because she’s already out on the sidewalk. She runs until her feet remind her that low heels are no substitute for track shoes and stumbles to a halt, bracing her palms atop her thighs and leaning over as she gulps for air. The initial energy surge of her recharge has worn off and the subsequent panic attack has left her feeling more tired than ever, so Kimiyo limps over to the curb and sits down to remove her pumps. She watches the cars driving by and idly wonders what time it is, what she should have for lunch, and what she’s going to do because she can’t force herself to pretend that Arthur is ever going to come back. A part of her is furious that she’s allowed herself to love him enough that his absence is affecting her this much. _This was never the plan, never_. Kimiyo tilts her head back to look up at the sky, willing herself not to start crying again – why did this have to _happen_?

There’s a rustling sound next to her ear as someone sits down beside her, and she doesn’t have to look to know that it has to be Clark. He doesn’t say anything, but after a while he takes her hand and the physical contact makes the tears start sliding down her cheeks; she’s feeling too miserable to realize that the hand holding hers isn’t large enough to belong to Superman. As she turns her head to rest it against his shoulder, Kimiyo is momentarily dismayed to find out that ‘Clark’ is really Merlyn but the archer puts his arms around her just the same and somehow being held by someone who loves Arthur just as much makes her start to feel better. Merlyn rubs her back and lets her sniffle into his shirt even though it must be killing him to allow it, then offers an honest-to-god _silk handkerchief_ to blow her nose in. “Thanks. Sorry. God, this is embarrassing,” Kimiyo says thickly, rubbing at her eyes and clearing her throat while trying to look at anything but the man sitting on the curb next to her. “How did you know… were you _following_ me?”

Merlyn lifts one shoulder in an elegant shrug, his own eyes suspiciously bright. “I thought it best to keep an eye on you in case you decided to do anything…rash.” He pauses for a moment, then smiles slightly and she knows exactly who he’s thinking about. “Have you heard anything?”

“You mean, aside from what _you’ve_ heard? No. There’s a mole in the group but I don’t think they’ve reported in, whoever it is.” Kimiyo clears her throat again, taking a deep breath and expelling it slowly through pursed lips. “I thought they’d snagged you – how did you escape?”

The archer makes a ‘no, you keep it’ gesture when she lifts the handkerchief towards him slightly, and she tucks it into her pocket. “There are a few of us who heard the rumors in time to hide – Noah’s holed up in Coast City playing tourist, but the Rogues were among the first to go. We never thought they’d take Arthur.”

“That makes three of us,” she says ruefully. “You don’t need a place to hide out, do you?”

“Thank you, but no. I’d give you the address, but I’ll be on the move for a while until I’m sure they’ll leave me alone.” Merlyn sucks his bottom lip between his teeth. “I noticed you cleared his place out, today. Was there anything…?”

Kimiyo shakes her head. “Not that I saw, but then again who knows what’s in that box.” He raises his eyebrows and she explains about the landlady and Zatanna, which makes him laugh. 

“So _that_ was why the doors were rigged. If you’d like, I could arrange to have the couch stored – I have a warehouse.”

Of course he does. She pauses before deciding to trust him. “There were bags full of cash, blueprints, and gold in his mattress.”

“That’s not too unusual – it’s fairly common to stash a small amount of loot in a mattress, or beneath the carpets.”

“No, you don’t understand… the bags are bigger than _I_ am, and there’s about twelve of them. I have no clue how that man could even get it all in there, let alone sleep on _top_ of it!”

Merlyn’s face undergoes a transformation that Kimiyo can’t decipher, but he eventually settles upon laughing behind a hand brought up to cover his mouth. “He asked me once, where should he put a large amount of hypothetical spoils? I told him to sleep on top of it so it wouldn’t get stolen; never thought he’d actually do it. Of course that was back when we…” he trails off. “It was a while back.”

“I see.” And she does, because of course she knows about his past relationship with Arthur. The archer gazes across the street at one of the ever-present coffee shops that seem to pop up out of nowhere when her back is turned. “Would you like to go have coffee together? The person who has the most outrageous story about Arthur gets to pay.” He suggests that it’s fortunate for her that he’s the only one carrying any money _and_ he’s got a story she’ll never believe in a million years, and they seal the deal with a handshake.

He gets to his feet gracefully, brushing the dirt from the seat of his tailored black pants before offering his arm. “Now, this happened one night when we’d gotten together with Noah and Len. We were supposed to meet up to go over the second stage of our plans to overthrow the Justice League back when they were still headquartered in that ridiculous _cave_ …have you ever been there?”

“Once or twice.”

“Well, we figured we’d just go over there and do some snooping” he pauses to press his thumb against the ‘walk’ signal on the corner “and we’d already worked out that there was an access hatch that was left relatively unattended.”

Kimiyo frowns, trying to picture what he’s talking about. “There _was_ a small hatch on the eastern side, but that was far too small for anyone to fit inside it.”

“Exactly. It didn’t stop Arthur from trying to get in there, though.”

“He used to be thin, but not _that_ thin!”

Merlyn’s smile widens. “ _Exactly_ ,” he repeats.

“He got stuck, didn’t he?”

“Yes, he did.” Merlyn wriggles his fingers to demonstrate what it had looked like, holding his other hand flat to mime the hatch. “Arthur thought it would be a good idea to go down it headfirst.”

“Oh, no,” Kimiyo laughs.

“The best part about it was when his nose started itching, because his hands were trapped – he squirmed so hard that his helmet fell off and brained Diana. Turns out she knew he was up there the whole time but had been trying to give him a chance to get away quietly!” They laugh about it some more as they cross the street and go inside, where they swap more ‘war stories’ about their mutual acquaintance. Being around Merlyn, and knowing how much he cares for Arthur, gives Kimiyo the first hint she’s had so far that the worst of the pain she feels will begin to mend. “God, he could be an asshole sometimes.”

That’s the understatement of the century. “You have no idea,” Kimiyo sighs, curving her hands around her teacup. “Never thought I’d see the day when I actually _missed_ that.”

“Mm,” the other man agrees, leaning back against his chair before changing the subject. “So, do you have space for that couch? I really _could_ , um, host the thing indefinitely, if you’d like.”

“Do you really? That would be great, though I have to confess that finding a home for it is last on my to-do list.”

“I’ll arrange for it to be picked up in the morning.”

Kimiyo gives him a grateful smile, then frowns as she remembers something. “Oh, I’m not sure where my spare key went and I have something I need to do tomorrow – perhaps we can reschedule for the afternoon?”

Merlyn coughs delicately. “I have a key.”

“ _Really_ ,” Kimiyo says, and it comes out sounded ruder than she intends. Arthur hadn’t mentioned _that_. “How long have you…?”

The archer rubs the tips of his fingers together in a slight nervous gesture. "We never lived together, if that is what you mean. I believe the key was so he, ah, didn't have to teleport me if I felt like visiting. Of course it was easier for him to simply come to where _I_ was."

"Arthur loves you," Kimiyo says finally, reaching out to touch the back of his hand. "I think you still love him, too, and I'm glad. It's good that he has more than just one person to _care_ that he's not here right now." It makes her feel less alone.

Merlyn moves his hand to take hers. "I hope you're not thinking that my regard approaches anywhere close to 'lovesick jealous stalker' territory. The day you took him off my hands is a memory I'll always cherish, because I meant what I said about him being an ass."

"Well, here I was thinking that we were having a very emotional heart-to-heart," Kimiyo smiles.

"Don't worry - I won't tell anyone that you're human after all."

They sit in silence for a few seconds, then Kimiyo picks up her cup to peer inside it. "So, here's what's going to happen - I'm going to tell you that those bags are sitting on top of my bed, and then I'm going to visit a few friends of mine. When I come home, the bags will be gone."

Merlyn inclines his head towards her. "Doctor, it has been a pleasure seeing you again. If there is ever anything you need, please do not hesitate to contact me." He stands up and looks uncomfortable when she gives him a farewell embrace. "If you hear anything about them..."

"Of course. Have Noah give me a call sometime when he's tired of Coast City." He readily agrees, and presumably makes his escape so she can't rope him into another display of affection. Kimiyo shakes her head, amused at how the man can offer comfort one minute and then desperately avoids physical contact once he's judged that his job has been completed and any other overtures are unnecessary. _It's more like I'm not the only one who's 'human after all'_ , Kimiyo thinks to herself as she goes into the restroom so that she can teleport to Wayne Manor without startling anyone in the dining area. The man himself isn't in residence, but Alfred suggest she try Wayne Enterprises.

Bruce is actually there for a change, playing the ditzy billionaire for all he's worth and he promptly acts as if her appearance is the greatest inconvenience he's ever endured. "You'd better not be here to whine about some hostile takeover," Bruce complains loudly. "I've got work to do."

"I see that, Mister Wayne," she says, pointedly eyeing the half-empty bottle of scotch on his desk. "It shouldn't take _that_ long, surely."

He glares at her, then snaps his fingers at his cadre of personal assistants. "One of you, bring coffee for Miss Hoshi-"

" _Doctor_ Hoshi," Kimiyo interrupts. "And no coffee will be necessary."

Bruce's eyes narrow. "It's considered polite to accept your host's offer, Ms. Hoshi."

"It's also considered polite to address a _doctor_ with their correct title, Bruce."

One of the interns actually squeaks in shock, paling when Bruce looks over at him. "Outside, all of you." He swivels his chair around when the doors close behind the last employee. "Is there any particular reason you couldn't wait to meet _anywhere_ else?"

"Let's not pretend that I haven't given you the perfect excuse to be an absentee landlord, Bruce. I was out of the house today and figured I'd drop by."

He doesn't have to ask her what she's there about. "Wait a minute, Kim." Bruce reaches into his suit pocket to withdraw a small device, which he then activates and places on the desk. "Would you like to sit?"

"Thank you."

"Leaving aside the obvious, _which is that you could have waited until after hours to ask me about this_ , what I can tell you isn't anything good." Bruce holds a hand up to forestall her interruption. "Let me rephrase; Arthur is alive, but the planet isn't the paradise they were promised."

She releases the breath she'd been holding as the fear eases its grip from around her heart. "Of course it's not," she says bitterly. "How is Selina?"

Bruce's eyes flick towards the door, then back again. "She is well, thank you," he says primly, as closemouthed as ever concerning his private life. "I'm unsure how much Amanda Waller told you during your _meeting_..."

"I have no idea what you mean," Kimiyo says sweetly.

"Mm-hmm," Bruce replies. "Anyway, it turns out that Salvation is used as a training ground for _Parademons_ \- something that Checkmate didn't pick up on when scouting for potential prison planets. The native wildlife is also resistant to the new arrivals; the place is a deathtrap, and the casualties keep mounting."

Kimiyo sucks her bottom lip between her teeth. "Does Checkmate know this? Who'd you send there?"

"J'onn volunteered to blend in once I explained the need for urgency - we didn't have enough time to warn anyone," he adds, eyeing her pointedly. "He's been sending sporadic updates, but they've been stopped. My guess is that he might have been found out somehow." Bruce goes on to tell her that they haven't gathered enough information to allow them to mount any kind of rescue operation - oh, they know _roughly_ where the planet is but without exact coordinates it would be impossible for even Mr. Miracle to summon a Boom Tube to bring the exiles home again. "We're working on it, Kimiyo, believe me."

"Well, work _faster_ ," she says tartly. 

Bruce just shakes his head and jerks his chin towards the door. "Sure, Kim. Listen, I'll send Dick over with the audio files but in the mean time...?" She nods in acquiescence and slams the door on her way out, snarling some choice words about how insufferable Bruce Wayne is. He sends a few security guards to escort her to the door in not-so-subtle retaliation for failing to call before her arrival. 

Her last stop is to Kord Industries, where Ted has been spending more and more time due to her frequent absences, and he looks up in surprise as she walks in. "Kim! I...thought you were off today."

"We need to talk."

He grimaces. "Oh, boy. Why do I know exactly what you're about to say?"

Kimiyo sits down and folds her hands in her lap. "I could go the whole 'it's not you, it's me' routine, but I'm not going to do that to you. Ted, I need something new to occupy myself with and what we've been doing _is_ important, but my heart just isn't in it anymore."

"We could find you something new to work on; this doesn't have to end with you stepping down from being _president_. Kim, I'm begging you."

She gazes at her friend. "We've been through a lot since our days as members of the JLI. We survived things that most people only ever dream about. We've survived Booster _and_ Guy…we'll survive this, too. I'm out, Ted."

“Damnit.” Ted slumps in his seat. “We can increase your maternity benefits, if that’s something you’re worried about – you _know_ it’s no problem-”

“Ex _cuse_ me?”

He just looks puzzled. “Well, yeah. Of course it’s not an issue if you need more paid leave – being the president of a company like this does have _some_ perks. Most of what you do can be done from home, actually, though I know you're more the 'hands-on' type.”

Kimiyo looks at him in consternation. "Who has been telling you that I'm pregnant? Where is this coming from?" she demands. "You know exactly how I feel about having rumors spread about me."

"Oh, uh, I just... I mean, Kara mentioned something the other day at lunch so I thought that you..." air hisses through his teeth as Ted realizes the magnitude of what he's assumed. "I'm sorry, Kim, I just thought since you were quit- er, _resigning_ that...Jeez. Sorry."

"You should be," she says sharply. "I don't have to remind you about assumptions. You haven't mentioned this to anyone else, have you?" Kimiyo reminds herself to have a talk with Kara - it's likely that her best friend had just been irritated with her (it happens enough to both of them on a regular basis) and had said something to Ted in the form of a joke.

Blue Beetle shakes his head, lifting both hands in the air as a gesture of surrender. "I swear I haven't - I kind of just forgot about it until you showed up. Look, can't we at least talk about this? Give you some more time to think this through? I hate to lose you, Kim; you really know your stuff. The shareholders love you," Ted says desperately.

"My mind is made up." Kimiyo assures him that she'll stay on for another month while he searches for her replacement, then another two weeks to ease the transition. Ted's still no happier about her decision but he _does_ respect it, which in turn increases her respect for _him_. She's always thought of him as a good man with a kind heart, and his (somewhat) calm acceptance proves once again that this assessment is correct. "I'll return to normal working hours at the beginning of next week," Kimiyo says, standing up to indicate that their informal meeting has reached its end.

"You've kept everything running smoothly even without being here," Ted reminds her. "I'm really going to miss you, Kim."

"Nonsense," Kimiyo replies briskly. "I'm not gone yet, and it certainly isn't as if I'm going to drop dead the moment I'm no longer your employee."

He gives her a wry smile. "I don't think anyone could ever call _you_ just an employee. You're more like a force of nature once you get going."

"Don't you forget it," she says with a smile. "Goodbye, Theodore - I'll see you Monday."

Ted makes another mournful sound as Kimiyo leaves, and she's sufficiently recovered to easily teleport home. There's plenty of time to fix herself a late lunch, and after she cleans up it's time to see what can be done about the mess still in her bedroom. She's pleasantly surprised, however, to find that Merlyn has taken _everything_ \- including the ruined mattress. He's even made her bed and vacuumed the carpet, from the looks of things.

She settles back against the pillows with a few folders she still needs to look through for work, idly wondering if S.T.A.R. Laboratories has room for someone like her - she'd love to have a spot in R&D. _It would be the perfect challenge, and a completely blank slate_ , Kimiyo thinks as she reaches for a pen to jot down a few notes in the margins of the papers she's studying. Commuting wouldn't be a problem at all, now that she's fine-tuned her teleportation skills. Kimiyo loses herself in the work she's brought home, only surfacing when she hears the door slam and the sounds of Imako and Yasu having an argument.

"Mo-ooooom," Yasu calls out, "Tell Imako to stop copying me!"

"Stop copying him," Kimiyo says, shuffling the papers so that she knows where to pick back up once she has more 'quiet' time. Of course, this prompts her daughter to come racing in with a disgruntled look on her face.

"I wasn't _copying_! Tell him to quit makin' lies about me!"

"Quit making up lies," she repeats obligingly, which makes Yasu howl in frustration. "Both of you need to calm down. Get your homework finished up, because we have to go grocery shopping. I thought we might wait to do _that_ until after we go out for dinner tonight."

Both of them immediately perk up, and Kimiyo smiles to herself as she reaches for her papers once more - she's just created some quiet time for herself. She can hear them babbling excitedly in the living room as backpacks are unzipped and books are settled upon the table, then blessed silence settles upon her household as they all set to their individual tasks. Kimiyo finishes up quicker than she'd originally expected, so she takes a shower and changes her clothes before picking up her phone to give Tora a call.

 _"Kim! Hi!_ " her friend exclaims as soon as she answers. " _How are you doing?_ "

"I'm good; how are _you_? Listen, I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner out with us tonight - nothing fancy, just pizza for the kids."

 _"You had me at 'pizza,'"_ Tora jokes. " _Are you asking just_ me _? Because Guy's home from Oa for a few days, and..._ " While she'd just intended to hang out with one of her best friends Kimiyo knows that the prospect of going to a pizza parlor, _and_ with their favorite Green Lantern, will put both Yasu and Imako over the moon. While they both adore Tora (and honestly, who doesn't? Even Mick Rory loved her), Ice will probably be relegated to the background. Her friend laughs merrily when Kimiyo admits this. _"He's a crowd pleaser, that's for sure. Text me the address, and we'll meet you there around six._ "

They talk for a few more minutes about nothing in particular, then Kimiyo hangs up and goes to see what her offspring are up to. "Homework's all done?" she asks, and they look up from their individual activities to nod at her. "We still have plenty of time before dinner, so I thought we'd just go shopping _now_ \- what do you say?"

Imako nods vigorously. "Yes!"

"Whatever," Yasu says, trying to look cool by not caring.

Kimiyo smiles as she picks up her purse and drops her keys inside it. "Did I mention that Tora and Guy are going out to eat with us?" she says casually, and her son's eyes widen.

"For real? _Guy_ is gonna be there?! Oh, _man_...! Cool!" Yasu scrambles to clear his spot at the table and nearly leaves a smoke trail on his way to get changed. Imako's case of hero worship isn't as severe as her older brother's, but she's also excited to see her adopted uncle - Guy always has plenty of gross-out stories to share whenever she sees him, to Kimiyo’s everlasting dismay. She soon has to intervene when Yasu can’t find the perfect outfit and she walks into her son’s room only to be promptly smacked in the face by a flying pair of basketball shorts but after some cajoling and even more _whining_ , they’re soon ready to go.

 

They pick up their normal weekly staples and when Kimiyo lets them run off to choose one item each as a treat, she wanders about looking at the displays at the ends of the aisles. One such display brings her to the health and beauty aisle, and Kimiyo scrutinizes the shelves of bodywash before she notices that someone has dropped a home pregnancy test in the wire basket of shrink-wrapped loofah sponges. She stares down at it, reminded of Blue Beetle's seemingly throwaway comment. _Could it be possible?_

Kimiyo's still thinking about it when they stop at home to unload their groceries, and is trying to remember the last time she's had her period - her cycle _has_ been off lately, but she'd just chalked that up to her recent emotional upheaval and not worried about it. Perhaps it might not be a bad idea to stop and purchase that test after dinner.

Her friends are waiting for them just outside the restaurant, and Imako barrels towards Guy the instant she sees him. The Lantern swings her up in his arms for a hug, smiling at Kimiyo and holding out a hand for Yasu to shake. "Hey, big man! You been workin' out?" he teases. Imako slides down to give Tora a hug, too, and they all head inside to a table. "Wait 'til you hear about the fight I got into with this huge _snot monster_ ," Guy says, killing Kimiyo's appetite and enthralling her children at the very same time. "It was even _green_..."

"It's good to see you," Tora says, clasping Kimiyo's hand. "How is everything? I'm sorry I haven't been in touch more but, well, we've been looking for a new place."

"Really? You're moving in together?"

Tora blushes slightly. "Well, it's almost like we do already... he's not on Earth very much these days - something is going on with the Sinestro Corps _again_ \- but we decided to make it official."

Kimiyo's eyes open wide at this. "You're getting _married_?!?"

"Shhh," Ice hushes her, glancing at Guy quickly to see if he's heard. "No. I mean, not _yet_ \- he hasn't asked me, or anything. I just meant, officially living together."

"Well, it's a good start," Kimiyo says encouragingly. "The best way to _really_ get to know someone is by living with them... that way, if they have some habits you can't stand, it won't come as a surprise. Just imagine getting married right away and _then_ finding out that he eats his toenail clippings, or something."

"Ew."

"I'm not speaking from personal experience," Kimiyo hastens to add. "It was just an example."

Tora's expression clearly shows that she's thankful _that_ got cleared up, and they place their orders before settling back to listen to Guy's latest wild story about Hector Hammond and a tub of Crisco which isn't entirely family friendly. When Hal Jordan makes a cameo appearance in the tale, Kimiyo feels obliged to shut down the production that now includes Ring constructs and sweetener packets from their table. "That's enough, Guy," she says censoriously. "Thank you for that thrilling fictional escapade."

There's a chorus of _awwww_ 's from the other side of the table, so Tora suggests that the kids challenge Guy to create different constructs, which is a favorite game of theirs. "Don't make them too big, please," she says gently.

"You got it, babe," Guy says with a wink. "Awright, who wants to see what Batman looks like dressed as a ballerina from _Swan Lake_?"

Kimiyo touches her fingertips to Tora's arm, and her friend immediately leans closer. "Have you seen Kara lately?" she murmurs, trying to figure out where to begin. Ice shakes her head with a questioning look. "She mentioned something to Ted Kord about me being pregnant."

Tora's brow furrows. "Why would she... was she mad at you? It sounds like a hormone joke."

"That's what I thought, but..."

Her friend gasps, then claps her hand over her mouth. "Oh my gosh! _Are_ you?"

"I don't know," Kimiyo confesses. "I'd been thinking that it's just not possible - remember what I told you about raising my body temperature? The night Arthur was called in, I was so worried about him that I forgot to do it...and I _am_ late."

Tora clasps her hands together, eyes shining. "Oh, _Kim_! You really might _be_! This is just like a plot in one of my romance novels when there's time travel and she doesn't think she'll ever see him again but then she's _pregnant_ and he comes back to her! This is so _romantic_ ," Ice practically groans. "This is a sign, I just know it."

Kimiyo doubts that very much, but doesn't want to crush her friend's feelings by telling Tora that she's never heard such a load of bullshit in all her years, so settles upon smiling and saying, "We'll see." She asks more questions about the area in which the couple is looking, and Guy pulls a crumpled piece of paper from his back pocket to show Kimiyo some of the listings. They discuss it while the children steadily devour their pizza and then beg for quarters so that they can play some of the arcade games - Kimiyo gives them five dollars each and they run to get change. "Oh, go on," Tora says when she catches Guy gazing at the machines longingly. He grins and takes off to show Yasu the best way to beat the high score on the pinball machine.

"I will never stop being amazed by how much he's changed," Kimiyo says with a shake of her head. "He's so good with children."

Ice sighs. "I hope you're not thinking that he should have a few of his own. _Everyone_ tells me that."

"You can just have mine if you want," she jokes. "I know how irritating it can be when people think they can ask you about your personal decisions."

"There's so much going on right now, it's probably more likely that _he'll_ get pregnant before I do," Tora says. "We know we'll eventually start a family, but you wouldn't believe how often people ask me if I'm ever going to get pregnant! It's so _rude_." She stops and places her fingertips over her lips. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

Kimiyo swirls the ice in her water glass. "Oh, I'm not upset. I suppose I'm just a little worried that a test will come up positive - I mean, I've survived single parenthood but my ex-husband and I were still together when both children were babies....and I've heard some horror stories about what happens when both parents have a similar metagene."

"You're the strongest person I know," Tora says, taking her hand again. "If anyone can do this, it's going to be you. And it's not like you wouldn't have our entire community ready to babysit at a moment's notice... you know Wildcat, right? Get him around a little baby and he goes absolutely _insane_ , he loves them so much! Don't even get me started on Doctor Fate, or even Hawkgirl."

"Or you?"

"I can't help it! Babies are adorable!"

Kimiyo glances over at Imako, Yasu and Guy. "Could you do me a favor, and not mention this to anyone? I know you don't like to keep secrets from Guy, but please don't tell him about this. I'd rather keep this close until I know for sure."

"If he asks me straight out, I'm not going to lie," Tora replies. "But I won't volunteer anything, either."

"That's all I ask."

They stop at the grocery store again on their way home - the official explanation is that Kimiyo had forgotten something earlier - and she sends them to the magazine section while she chooses three different pregnancy tests and tosses them in her basket along with the bodywash she'd been looking at before and a bag of disposable paper cups. The cashier decides to be a smartass and actually says "uh-oh!" when she sees Kimiyo's purchases, but quails at the look she's given in return. If it weren't so late, she'd strongly consider asking for the manager to complain.

Once Imako and Yasu go off to bed, Kimiyo paces in her own bedroom before upending the bag onto her mattress. She reads and rereads the instructions for each test, then unboxes them and lines them all up on the side of her sink before readying the timer feature on her phone. Kimiyo's hands are shaking so badly that she nearly drops the first one on the floor, so she takes a break and does some deep breathing. _I have a feeling that I'll wind up upset no matter what the outcome is_.

She uses all three of the tests and sets the timer, then returns to pacing while she wonders how such a small amount of time can seem so _long_. Maybe she's not pregnant, and she's getting worked up for nothing - that would definitely fit her life at the moment... but what if she is? "It'll be negative. Of course it'll be negative," she says aloud. The timer finally rings and Kimiyo hurries back into the bathroom only to stop and stare in disbelief at the neatly lined up plastic sticks which are telling her that Arthur quite literally got in a parting shot. "Oh, God."


	2. Chapter 2

She can't decide whether to feel sick to her stomach with dread, upset over the fact that this child will never know its father, or grateful that a part of Arthur will always be with her since he can't be. Her brain picks all three of those emotions, and then some. Kimiyo desperately wants to _tell_ someone. She'd give anything to be able to tell Arthur that he's going to be a father, since he'd made sure that she wasn't interested in expanding her family. Kimiyo rubs her palms over her stomach, blinking back more of the tears that never quite seem to go away lately, before she just lets them come. As she's done for so many nights, she walks around the bed and slides the nightstand drawer open so that she can lift out Arthur's clothing and press it against her face. Equilibrium (mostly) restored, Kimiyo sweeps all of the used tests into the trashcan and knots the bag closed so that no prying eyes will know about it. She decides upon not announcing her pregnancy until she's absolutely certain that it's viable; in the morning, she'll schedule an appointment with her doctor, but Kimiyo digs her planner out from her purse and flips through it so that she can try to guess how far along she is. The first ultrasound won't be scheduled until after 18 weeks, but she's always like to stay on top of things concerning her own health.

She retrieves the new bottle of bodywash and treats herself to a long shower, during which she leans against the tile and indulges herself in daydreams of what their child might look like. Genetics wise, it's a bit silly to imagine having a son with Arthur's blue eyes, but the thought is a comforting one nonetheless. Maybe a dark-haired little girl whose love for trouble rivals her father's. Kimiyo smiles down at her abdomen, caressing it gently. "You're too small to hear me, but I love you already."

In the morning, she phones her doctor as planned and is pleased when the other woman promptly schedules an appointment that very same day. _"I'm up to my eyeballs in well visits so I can't see you myself, but one of the PA's can take you on. Now, I_ will _tell you that there are limited options for metahuman prenatal care due to the extra insurance requirements...not to mention the liability issues. I'll make sure you get the list before you leave, and you can call me at any time if you need any specific recommendations._ "

Kimiyo thanks her and hangs up, then decides to give Merlyn a call so that she can relay the latest information she's learned about the deportees. He sounds surprised and gratified to actually hear from her, and she debates whether or not she should tell him about her pregnancy before she reminds herself that she'd already planned not to inform _anyone_. This doesn't stop her from taking measurements against the far wall of her bedroom and browsing for cribs online. She briefly regrets her resignation from Ted Kord's company, especially since it feels a bit dishonest to apply for a job that she'd soon have to take maternity leave from, but Kimiyo knows that Ted would be only too happy if she were to stay on as president. _Who knows? A lot can happen in a few months._

She takes an armload of her suits to the drycleaners so that she's ready for work on Monday, then decides to stroll through the mall where she stops in a store which stocks maternity clothing. The styles have definitely changed since the last time she was carrying a child, and in decidedly _good_ ways. The prices aren't even that bad, and if she plays her cards right Kimiyo could even wear some of the more casual outfits after the baby is born. She resists purchasing anything, but allows herself to be persuaded to sign up for a newsletter before she makes her escape. There's still time before her appointment to stop in and look at strollers and she feels slightly silly being in the store so early on, but it isn't as if she's going to walk out with half of the gadgets and gear that are on display.

The appointment is a routine one, though a _bit_ more rushed than usual - that's fine with her, because all she really needs is for her pregnancy to be recorded for health insurance purposes. The PA has the list of recommended care providers ready, and even suggests a few... though those are replaced with others once Kimiyo makes it clear that the father of her child is _also_ metahuman. Mentioning that Arthur has a similar metagene will likely cause a panic, so she doesn't bother. Most of the providers on the revised list are known to her - as a double PhD, Kimiyo has a wide range of professional contacts - but a few names are unfamiliar, so she decides to do some research before choosing her obstetrician. With any luck at all, one of the unknowns will turn out to be perfect so that she can avoid the potential embarrassment of sharing details about her private life. Doctor-patient privilege is good enough in theory, but there's just something about having to cough up personal details to someone you routinely see at medical conferences and public functions; if Kimiyo can't keep her business to herself, she'd rather share it with a person she can trust completely - and there aren't many individuals who fit that particular bill.

She has lunch with Kara, who apologizes about what was indeed an offhand (and oddly timed) comment to Ted. Kimiyo tells her not to worry about it, and they spend the next hour happily discussing the goings-on at their individual companies along with Kimiyo's next move. Apparently there's been some restructuring going on at S.T.A.R. Labs, so there might be room for her after all... it certainly can't hurt to try. 

Kimiyo uses the remainder of the day to check up on the four doctors who specialize in metahuman obstetrics, and books consultations with three of them. One of them has a late afternoon time-slot free thanks to a cancellation, and Kimiyo ends up liking her so much that she cancels her other appointments. Patricia Hayes turns out to be precisely who Kimiyo wants to have by her side when she goes into labor, and the other woman makes her laugh by describing the singularly harrowing delivery of a child who had inherited an unexpected amount of power from her parents and exhibited it right when she was being placed on the scale for her routine measurement. The doctor's description is vague enough for Kimiyo not to recognize who the parents are, but it's certainly hilarious enough to make her wish Arthur were there to hear it too.

"Well, let's get you set up for your first official visit," Doctor Hayes says. "They usually take anywhere from about an hour to an hour and a half. We'll send some forms home with you today to fill out and bring back - just standard questions about you and your partner's medical history. If the second parent of your child is available, it might be a good idea to have them come with you."

_Yes, it would be_ , Kimiyo thinks wistfully. "That won't be possible."

"I'm sorry to hear that, but if there's any way to bring some sort of DNA sample it will help immeasurably." Seeing the look on Kimiyo's face, the other doctor quickly explains about how they use DNA profiles to help gauge possible combinations of metagenes and reduce the risk of injury in labor and delivery as well as the post-natal period. "It's new technology, but it's working out well especially with children whose metagene has already activated in the womb. If you have a baby with a predilection towards creating ice, for example, we'd caution the mother against exposing herself to any extreme temperatures and things of that nature," she says. "Our number one priority is keeping both mother and child as safe and healthy as possible."

Kimiyo tries to think of any possible sources for Arthur's DNA, but comes up blank. There's probably something in his 'boxed' apartment yet no way to search for it unless she unpacks the entire thing and uses a microscope. _Wait a minute,_ she thinks suddenly. _His DNA profile would almost certainly be stored somewhere in Belle Reve._ "I think I know where a sample of his DNA could be obtained," she says hesitantly. "Have...have you ever had patients who..." Oh, how the hell is she going to say this without coming off like a complete idiot?

The other woman understands what she's trying to say. "If he's ever been incarcerated in either Iron Heights or Belle Reve, we've had experience in requesting medical information from those institutions. I understand if you're hesitant to reveal his identity, but things will run a lot smoother..."

"I'm sorry," Kimiyo apologizes. "I'm afraid I've simply gotten used to protecting my private life, especially where he's concerned."

"That's understandable," Dr. Hayes says kindly. "I've had several patients who either were or are in a relationship with a supervillain, and I can assure you that it really isn't as big of a deal as you might think. Many people assume that if they're on the wrong side of the law, they just don't have what we'd call 'normal' lives when it's really the exact opposite."

That's certainly the truth; Kimiyo hadn't been able to believe it the first time she'd realized that the supervillain community operated just like _hers_ did - that they, too, gathered together 'after hours' for social events like birthday parties and dinner outings. The fact that they made doctor's appointments and went to parent-teacher conferences was just too much of a stretch of most people's imaginations. "You'll probably laugh when I tell you, then. The father is Arthur Light."

The doctor looks puzzled for a moment, then smiles. "Doctor Light and Doctor Light? I don't think it's any mystery what this baby is going to inherit, but we'll run the tests to make sure that this pregnancy is a healthy and safe one."

"You don't seem that surprised, Doctor Hayes," Kimiyo ventures.

She gets another smile. "Please, call me Tricia. I'm not that surprised because I'd already heard that he was off the market, so to speak - I went to school with Louise Lincoln, and we still keep in touch... so I have my own 'in' with the villain community." They talk for a few more minutes, then agree upon seeing each other again in time for the 'interview' and first ultrasound. "We'll request Arthur's DNA profile and have everything ready by the time you come back," Tricia says. Kimiyo leaves, feeling relieved and as if this is something she can actually _handle_.

Over the next few weeks she's kept busy trying not to blurt out the news to any of her friends, not to mention keeping herself from buying any baby gear even when Kimiyo finds a tiny blanket decorated with lightbulbs. The filaments are actually shaped into little hearts, which makes her break down and buy it - she folds it carefully and slips it into the same drawer as Arthur's clothing, feeling slightly foolish. It's strange to her that she hasn't experienced any morning sickness but given that she'd been sicker than a kennel full of dogs for the entire duration of _both_ of her previous pregnancies, she's not going to complain. She still visits with the others that the deportees had left behind, and it's to Angie - Leonard Snart's longtime girlfriend - that Kimiyo finally tells about her pregnancy. "You are so lucky," Angie says enviously, eyeing Kimiyo's waistline. "Lenny and I have been talking about kids but we always thought we had all the time in the world, you know?"

"I know _that_ feeling," Kimiyo sighs. "Sometimes I can't help feeling that something is going to go wrong, though."

"You only have one more week to go until your ultrasound though, right? I'm sure you would have known by now if something was going to happen - my cousin's wife lost a baby once, but she had cramps a few days before. You haven't felt anything like that, have you?"

Kimiyo shakes her head. "Not at all."

"See? You'll be fine," Angie says encouragingly. "I wanted to ask you, though...what did you do with Arthur's stuff? I had to pawn a few things to pay for Len's rent - his landlord gives him a discount because he's not always around to settle up and I think Lenny did him a favor once, but I just don't know where I should store it all."

She's embarrassed not to have thought that anyone else would have the same problems that she'd already dealt with, and that they wouldn't have the same resources that are available to _her_. "Well, a few friends of mine helped out," Kimiyo admits. "Why don't you leave the address with me? I can contact her again and I'm sure she wouldn't mind helping out; in fact, if you happen to know everyone who needs this particular _kind_ of help..."

Angie's response is so grateful that Kimiyo feels even guiltier. "Don't be stupid," Angie says when she mentions it. "We all have more than enough to worry about. Now, are you hoping for another boy or a girl?" Kimiyo allows herself to be distracted, thankful of the other woman's kindness - it's no wonder why Lenny was always so crazy about her.

The conversation is still on her mind the day she's scheduled to have her first ultrasound, and Kimiyo is so thrilled to actually _see_ their baby that she fails to register the most important thing. There seems to be a problem with the equipment, so the technician asks Tricia to come in and conduct the procedure in another room - thinking nothing of it, Kimiyo smiles at the black and white image of the child she made with Arthur and crosses her fingers in a quick wish for another little girl.

"Kimiyo," Tricia says seriously after the lights have been turned back on and she's gotten dressed again, "I'm sorry, but we didn't detect a heartbeat."

What? Surely she hadn't heard right. "Ex...cuse me?"

The other woman gazes at her. "I'm sorry," she repeats. 

Kimiyo feels like something has taken control of her body, rendering it incapable of moving. All she can do is stare at her doctor in disbelief. "But..." Her hands rise to cover her mouth, and grief overtakes her as the first sobs rise up to burst from her throat. This can't be happening, she _saw_ her baby - it hadn't looked like some featureless blob the way you'd see in a textbook illustration; it had looked like a _baby_! _Her_ baby! 

She's vaguely aware of Tricia's arms coming around her in a vain effort to bring comfort. "But it has arms and _legs_ ," Kimiyo sobs helplessly. 

"I know," her doctor soothes. "I know."

When she's cried herself into a state of numbness, Tricia has a nurse guide her to another office - mercifully free of ultrasound equipment or any other medical paraphernalia - where she sits staring down at the table's polished surface. Tricia comes in and sits down, gently telling her that these things happen. That pregnancies terminate themselves when there's a developmental problem. That, judging by the size of the pregnancy (her baby isn't even referred to as a potential _person_ anymore), the heartbeat had stopped two weeks earlier. She's asked if she wants to wait until her body 'passes' _the pregnancy_ naturally, or if she'd like a few pills to speed up the process. Kimiyo quickly opts for the prescription, trying to suppress her horror at the thought of actually carrying around a dead child inside her until her body can do something about it.

The rest of the day passes in a haze of grief - a short text to Tora has her friend ready to take both Yasu and Imako for an overnight stay at her apartment, and Kimiyo packs their clothing as quickly as she can. She tries not to look at the empty pill bottle sitting on her bedside table as she calculates how long she'll have to wait until the cramps start and she's officially 'not pregnant' anymore. Kimiyo struggles to keep her mind off of just how depressed she really is, trying to keep busy - to this end, she decides to sort through the box of papers she'd kept from Arthur's loot stash. The blueprints go into one pile while she leafs through the patent paperwork - there's a few applications that have been halfway filled out with Arthur's cramped writing, a few inventor's declaration pages, and copies of numerous non-publication requests. These get immediately set aside for further study, because they haven't been filed under Arthur's name - he's submitted them under his first and middle names only and there's something familiar about them that warrants a closer look.

She keeps busy until she feels the first twinges low in her abdomen, then redoubles her efforts to find a distraction as her body rids itself of her last physical link to Arthur Light. She loses track of how long the false contractions continue but by the time they finally stop, Kimiyo is curled up on the bed with the baby blanket in her arms clinging to it as if she could somehow take back what has happened to her. _I wish you could have stayed,_ she thinks. _I wanted to be your mother so badly_. Maybe it was something wrong with her - she's already carried two other children to term, and it should have been fine this time...this has to be her fault. If only she'd known, she could have done something to fix it. She would have done _anything_. Kimiyo rolls over to open the drawer containing Arthur's clothing and, as she's done so many times before, rubs her cheek against it and breathes in. Tonight, she's stricken by the realization that it no longer smells like him when she needs the comfort of his scent the most. Kimiyo slides down onto the floor, clutching the fabric to her chest while she rocks back and forth helplessly. "Why aren't you _here_?" She screams before she can stop herself, then huddles back against the side of the bed while hoping that she hasn't woken the neighbors. "I need you here," she says, choking back another sob. "You _promised_ me." She cries herself to sleep on the carpet, curled around items of clothing that their owners now have no use for.

Recovering from her miscarriage takes more time than Kimiyo could have ever believed. The taboos against actually talking about it are certainly strong enough to keep her lips sealed, even if she were the sharing type to begin with. Both Tora and Guy know, and she _should_ probably tell Kara, but Kimiyo doesn't feel like taking the chance that her best friend might chastise her for not telling her sooner - this doesn't strictly make sense, because it'll just make things worse for every day she doesn't mention it. Then she feels guilty about not telling Kara and _then_ feels angry about feeling guilty. She's so cross about it that she finally blurts it out during their weekly lunch date, sitting stiffly in her chair when Kara runs around the table to hug her. Kimiyo still finds herself upset that she hadn't requested a photo from the ill-fated ultrasound; when she had surfaced from the worst of her grief long enough to call Tricia and ask, the other doctor had regretfully told her that they didn't make a habit of capturing images from non-viable pregnancies, and the pictures had been deleted after Kimiyo had left. She does visit Tricia's office one last time to have her hCG levels checked, just to make sure that her hormones have returned to normal. Kimiyo waits another month before telling her children about the baby and, while they both have questions about it, she’s composed enough to give calm and unemotional answers. Imako takes it harder than Yasu does, most likely because he knows exactly what leads to pregnancy and doesn't want to admit to himself that his mother had actually done _that_ with Arthur. For her part, Imako is upset because she would have had the chance to be the big sister for once. Neither of them seem to realize how hard it’s been for her but then again, Kimiyo hadn’t expected them to. Yasu _does_ surprise her by asking if she’s sorry she won’t have another baby – when she says yes, he replies that he’s sorry too.

Kimiyo finds reminders of her lost child everywhere she looks; lyrics from songs she’s heard a thousand times will trigger the memory of sitting in that office being told that she’s been carrying a dead baby inside her for two whole weeks without knowing it. Coworkers talking about _their_ new little ones will remind her that her family is one that won’t be added to… seeing that tiny little blanket which she can’t bring herself to return. The popular phrase ‘time heals all wounds’ applies only partially, in her case – she slowly grows less sensitive to her loss, and there are some moments in which she’ll forget about it entirely, but this wound is one that can never heal without a trace. It becomes another scar on her heart, a tally mark of the pain she’s had to endure for no discernable reason.

Life goes on.

She throws herself into her work, getting Kord Industries ready for the upcoming changeover. Ted is still disgruntled at losing her, and doesn’t hesitate to let her know it at every conceivable opportunity. Her application to S.T.A.R. Labs is greeted enthusiastically, and it isn’t long at all until she’s offered the job of overseeing the Research and Development divisions of not only one, but _three_ locations in Sydney, Wichita, and Metropolis – her official ‘home base’ will be located in the New York R &D hub. It's exciting to be in a position where she's one of the first to witness the transformation from blueprints to tangibility, and there's certainly challenge enough to ensure that she's never bored. The only downside to her new occupation is that she still has to pressure lower level workers for results within the specified time limits, as had been the case when she was still working at Kord. Her 'strict but fair' reputation has preceded her with mixed results, but Kimiyo's never been known for making friends... why should that change now?

The seasons change and the items she's kept carefully folded in her bedside table don't get taken out quite as often, though Kimiyo occasionally opens the drawer just to make sure that everything is still there. Imako hits a rough patch in school that requires tutoring, and Yasu is still dragging his feet concerning the school science fair - and the project he'd been working on with Arthur. They work on it together when Kimiyo gets home at night, but she wishes she knew how to re-engage his full interest in the project. Kimiyo might be up to her ears in newly developed technology but the one person they need, who has always had an all-encompassing passion for invention, is simply no longer available to them. Noah finally gets back in touch after nearly five months of radio silence, and she's surprised by how happy she is to see him again. The rumblings that the Justice League has been concerned about are verified to be a new crop of supervillains on the rise - Calculator discusses it with her, having no qualms about exposing his would-be compatriots because they've apparently tried to circumvent his authority on more than one occasion. Noah makes her laugh as he describes the crude, embarrassing 'pay-per-loot' websites he's shut down, and they make plans for lunch that never quite become reality because of conflicting schedules.

Progress strikes once more when Kimiyo is transferred to the Metropolis branch with a sizable pay increase, but her life is changed forever within her first week at the new location. Kimiyo is in a meeting demanding to know why R&D have allocated so much manpower to a project that was already deemed frivolous in the Sydney branch when the building is rocked by the first concussive blast. “Everyone get to the ground level,” the security guard leans in to order, her fingers touching her IFB. “Stay away from the windows.” Kimiyo sighs and tosses the reports on the conference table as the other people in the room scramble to safety. She wouldn’t put it past Jeffries to have arranged some sort of sonic boom so she wouldn’t cut his funding, and moves over to his vacated place at the table to scoop up the folder he’d left behind in his mad dash for the elevator.

“Doctor Hoshi? We need to go, ma’am,” the guard says respectfully, having momentarily forgotten that she’s speaking to a card-carrying member of the Justice League.

The windows rattle again and Kimiyo raises her hand to forestall the guard’s advance. “That didn’t come from inside this building.” It didn’t even sound like a bomb, she thinks. “It was more like a sonic -” The realization hits her, and Kimiyo staggers backwards in shock. “Oh my God. Oh, my God. It’s a Boom Tube.”

_Arthur_.

She feels so lightheaded she nearly falls as the guard takes her by the arm to lead her from the conference room. “Doctor Hoshi? Do you need some water?” the other woman questions as she thumbs the ‘down’ arrow of the elevator call panel. 

“N-no, I’m… I’m fine, I just-” Kimiyo presses a trembling hand to her mouth. “Just give me a moment. I need to find someone.” What she needs is to be calm enough to be able to teleport outside, so maybe waiting for the elevator will help… though since everyone else in the building is convinced there’s a bomb, it might be easier to take the stairs. “You go on; I’ll be fine. My office is a few floors up, and my suit is there.” 

The security guard blinks in surprise. “That’s right, I keep forgetting – sorry about that, Doctor Light.”

“You’re doing a fine job,” Kimiyo assures her. “It might be best if you got down to the first floor as quickly as possible – all hell is about to break loose out there. You need to get everyone back inside the building, and make sure that they stay there. There was no bomb, and the streets are the most dangerous place to be right now.” She kicks off her pumps and heads for the stairwell, which is clogged by panicked staff so there’s no possible way she can force her way up to her office. The guard begins to order everyone back to their respective stations, and Kimiyo closes her eyes to fix her office’s location in her mind before committing to the ‘port. She makes it safely and rips her spare suit from its hanger, hopping on one leg as she tries to yank it on as quickly as she can. Her League communicator is chiming insistently, and Kimiyo takes a minute to throw it across the room. “I _know_ ,” she yells at it. Cramming her feet into her boots and almost breaking a finger trying to pull her gloves on, she looks around wildly for her headpiece before saying the hell with it and teleporting outside the building.

Downtown traffic has come to a standstill and Kimiyo looks down to see a sight she’d never thought she’d witness again – supervillains marching through the streets. Superman and the Flash are kept busy whisking innocent bystanders to safety as a few cars are sent flying, but there’s not nearly as much chaos as she’d expect. As much as she longs to find Arthur, Kimiyo’s responsibilities trump her wishes once again. She flies down to see how she can help, and feels shocked when she sees the condition the newly returned villains are in. “Kadabra? _Len_!” she calls out, and motions them over – the Rogues have always been a tightly knit group and they’re still no different. The men gather around her in a loose circle and anyone else would be panicking right now, yet Kimiyo has never felt threatened by any of them. 

Their outfits are dirty and so ragged, she’s surprised that they’re still able to wear them. Hadn’t Waller even bothered to give them extra clothing? “It’s so good to see you again,” she says honestly as she reaches out to hug the closest man, who turns out to be Evan. Of course now she has to hug each of them and of course they all grumble about it, though they _do_ look pleased at her greeting. “You boys need to get off of the streets – I’m sure the National Guard is being activated right now, and Angie will never forgive me if I don’t bring you home right away,” she says directly to Lenny. “Each of you needs to see a doctor as soon as possible.”

“Speaking of doctors…why aren’t you with yours?” Hartley asks pointedly. 

Kimiyo glares at him. “Because I have a duty to uphold. Now, do you want to stay here and let Amanda Waller get her hands on you again, or would you like to all join hands so I can take you to Central City?” she snaps. They don’t need any more urging than that, and she teleports the men directly to the living room of Angie’s apartment.

She gazes around at them, wondering what Arthur must look like if _they_ look so horrible. Each of them needs a haircut and a shave, and maybe even medication for worms… from the reports of the mounting number of deaths that J’onn had sent before he’d stopped transmitting for whatever reason, she had been terrified that Arthur would be one of the casualties. Learning that he really _has_ made it home is a gift she’d never expected. The Rogues are already arguing over who gets to use the bathroom first, and Kimiyo teleports back to Metropolis just as Angie unlocks the door to greet her unexpected guests with an incredibly loud scream.

Kimiyo manages to transport several more groups back to their families before the military really _does_ arrive, and she scans the crowd for any more familiar faces. The returned villains are justifiably angry and want justice for what was done to them but more than anything, they really just want to go _home_. She’s not about to compound their suffering by taking them immediately to prison unless they do something in her presence that truly warrants it. Thankfully she (and her connection to their community) is recognizable enough that she’s able to gather one last group and bring them directly into the S.T.A.R. Labs ground floor for triage. She orders several guards to stand beside the doors and let in only those in need of medical assistance – regardless of affiliation. There are enough medical professionals in the building to create a _very_ makeshift ER, and Kimiyo’s relieved that none of them try to argue with treating criminals in the reception area. She helps with all that she can while teleporting smaller groups who have already received treatment – there even comes a moment when the police chief comes to threaten her with arrest for aiding and abetting, of all things. No one is more surprised than Kimiyo herself when she finds herself grasping his arm and teleporting him back outside… he declines to come back and finish their conversation, but she makes a note to apologize formally once the dust settles despite her fury over the man's audacity... as if she should simply refuse to give medical aid to those who clearly need it!

Her anger further ingratiates Kimiyo to Waller's returned 'refugees,' a fact that she remains unaware of as she continues to treat wounds and wrap broken bones. Those remaining are separated into three groups - ready to be released, stabilized and in need of hospitalization, and still requiring attention. The police have finally allowed paramedics through and they arrive in force when she's finishing up the most urgent cases. She's working on wrapping Jewelee's ribs and trying not to feel sorry for herself when the other woman touches her arm in thanks. "I always thought he was crazy for being with you."

Kimiyo pushes her hair out of her eyes and secures the bandage with a length of medical tape. "Thanks."

"We were on the Squad together," Jewelee says, easing her ripped top back down. "Never thought much of him, but he proved himself today. Luthor asked for volunteers to power the transport and Light was the first one up."

"Oh," Kimiyo replies, looking away.

"I'm just saying, let the guy take a nap before you fuck him senseless."

"Thanks for the tip."

"And make him take a bath, because I'm pretty sure we all have fleas."

" _Thank_ you."

"Also, his hair-"

" _Jewelee!_ " Kimiyo snaps.

The other woman grins unrepentantly. "Like a sheepdog, Hoshi."

Kimiyo glares at her and motions her to the 'release' group. "Get out of here." Jewelee mouths 'woof' at her as she leaves, and Kimiyo looks around. The last of the urgent cases are being dealt with, EMTs are busily transporting the patients in need of critical care at a hospital, and sometime during the past few minutes, Clark has shown up to shuttle the others off to who-knows-where. The people she'd known had been taken from prison, she'd simply returned so Kimiyo assumes that Superman is following the same idea. "How's it looking?" she asks one of the other doctors tiredly.

"We can handle the rest if you'd like to take off," the man says, and she makes another mental note to find out his name - they're lucky that some of the staff from the San Francisco location had been in Metropolis for a conference. She makes him promise that they'll call her if they need anything, and goes back up to her office to check her phone for missed calls. There are five voicemails and while the first four are the standard 'oh my god have you heard the news' variety, the fifth is from Arthur. He calmly states that she wasn't in her office at Kord Industries and someone else has rented his apartment so he'll meet her at hers and could she bring food home, please?

Kimiyo wipes her tears, shaking her head at how _casual_ he sounds - as if they'd just seen each other yesterday. Mindful of the shape the others had been in, as well as Jewelee's warning of his power expenditure, she teleports straight to a local bistro known for the quality of their 'homemade' soups. While she's waiting for them to get her order ready, she stops in a nearby drugstore for a variety of over the counter medications, disinfectants, and bandages. Her heart is hammering against her ribs when she loops the handles of the bags over her arm and returns to the restaurant to find her order waiting. Kimiyo passes over far too much cash in her haste but waves away the startled offer of change - the manager hurriedly shoves a few baguettes she didn't ask for into another bag and comes around the counter to hand it to her. Kimiyo bites her lip and nods in thanks, then gathers up the soup and teleports back to her apartment. 

She dumps the bags on the kitchen counter and nearly trips over Arthur's boots in her headlong rush. He's not in the living room, the guest bathroom is empty, but then Kimiyo sees that the lights are on in her bedroom. Her first glimpse of him is a hand hanging over the side of the bed, and black hair sticking out from beneath the coverlet. Reaching out slowly, Kimiyo folds the covers back and nearly begins crying yet again because he’s really _here_. He also looks absolutely terrible and Jewelee’s crack about the sheepdog was spot on, but Arthur definitely smells a lot better than the others after the shower he must have taken while he was waiting for her to come home. Kimiyo runs her fingers through the heavy mass of curls that he’s grown in the time he’s been away, wondering if he’s planning on keeping the impressively full beard.

Loathe to wake him after all he’s been through – she doesn’t know the particulars just yet and isn’t sure she even wants to – Kimiyo kneels next to the bed and pillows her head on her arms, content to just watch him sleeping. She gazes at him with love swelling her heart until Kimiyo feels she could burst from it, and despite her best efforts, her own exhaustion overtakes her. The next time she opens her eyes, the shadows have lengthened and Arthur is still fast asleep. Muted sounds coming from the living room make her look at the clock, then she hurries out to greet the children. Imako leaps up from the couch and points at Arthur's boots. " _Mommy, are those-_ "

"Shhh," Kimiyo cautions, gesturing towards the kitchen. "Inside voices, please...!"

"But _Mom_ -"

Shushing them again, Kimiyo quickly sorts through the takeout bags and takes another look at the clock. "How about an early dinner tonight?" she offers. She's not keen on giving away the food she'd chosen especially for Arthur given that there's not much in her fridge that he could safely eat, but the kids won't eat much and there should be plenty left for him. They fidget while she slices the bread and sets out bowls, then Kimiyo leads them to the table. "Arthur and most of the other supervillains have returned."

Imako's eyes widen. "So he's really here? He came back!"

"Yes, he did. It was hard work, which is why I need you to be as quiet as you can - it made him very tired and he needs a lot of rest."

Her son takes a huge spoonful of the soup. "Maybe he can still help me with my science project."

"You are _not_ to harass him about that project, do you hear me?" Kimiyo says with a touch of irritation. "If Arthur brings it up, _then_ you may ask for help. I thought you changed it."

"I did, but if he helps me I'll win the fair for sure this year," Yasu says.

"Do you think he missed us?"

Imako's innocent question makes her look back at her youngest child. "I'd be very surprised if he didn't," Kimiyo says gently, reaching across the table to take Imako's hand. "Now, who needs more soup...?" She pours the contents of the largest container into the slow-cooker that Tora had given her, answering as many of their questions as she knows the answers to. Kimiyo scrounges for her own dinner in the fridge and gets the kids started on their homework, peeking in the bedroom every so often but it becomes very clear that Arthur won't be waking up anytime soon... she supposes that, after six months of waiting, she can handle a few more hours.

When the children go off to bed (with a few more complaints about their unconscious houseguest), Kimiyo goes back in to watch him sleep. She decides to leave a note propped up on the nightstand telling him about the food, and gets ready for bed herself. She finds the shreds of his uniform stuffed in the trashcan and pulls it out to lay it flat on the bathroom floor, spending long moments examining the crude patches and faded bloodstains. He's trashed his helmet, too, and Kimiyo lifts it out so that she run her fingers over the soldered seams where it's been broken and fixed more than once. Moved by some impulse she doesn't completely understand, Kimiyo shoves the suit back into the wastebasket and keeps the helmet. That, she slides behind the items she keeps in the cabinet beneath the sink. She leaves the overhead lights on for him and gets into the other side of the bed, trying to keep from reaching out to wake him up. While she knows that she should be able to control herself, Kimiyo can't quite keep from reaching out to touch him... just to serve as reassurance that he's really there. Every part of her longs to fling herself on him but she places a hand on his arm instead, feeling her power surge inside her chest in a way that it hasn't done in months. Six of them, to be exact. Kimiyo stares at his face, examining the marks of deprivation and hardship that sleep hasn't smoothed out, and wonders yet again what he's been through.

In the morning, he's still fast asleep when she wakes up to get the children fed and off to school. Imako watches her bedroom door hopefully the entire time she's eating her cereal and Yasu pretends not to care that he hasn't had a chance to ask for help with his science project yet. The soup is still in the slow-cooker, untouched, and Kimiyo frowns over at it while she's straightening the rest of the kitchen - she's not entirely sure how safe it is to just _leave_ something in there, but it doesn't look like it's burnt and surely it's hot enough to kill any germs. She settles upon just unplugging it, figuring that it'll have to be cooled off slightly anyway before she can refrigerate it. Kimiyo calls S.T.A.R. Labs to take a personal day only to find that the Metropolis location is closed anyway... it seems as though some damage had been done in the lobby after she'd left, when her absence had prompted the arrival of several soldiers who had taken it upon themselves to take the remaining supervillains into custody. She'll definitely have to answer for _that_ in front of the Board of Directors, since it was her decision to render aid (and grant sanctuary) in the first place.

She tries to wait patiently but when Arthur _still_ shows no sign of waking up after midday, Kimiyo's worry gets the better of her. It could simply be profound exhaustion, but she needs to know for certain and the best way to make sure he doesn't require hospitalization is to see if she can wake him up to take his vitals. Retrieving the blood pressure cuff, stethoscope, and thermometer she keeps in the master bathroom, she sets it out and reaches for his shoulder. "Arthur?" There's no response, so she moves closer and shakes him. "Artie, wake up. _Arthur_!" Kimiyo places both hands on his chest, performing the 'tap and shout' maneuver used before rendering aid via CPR, and this time she gets a reaction. His eyes snap open and then she finds herself being thrown to the floor with his hands at her throat and a snarl on his lips. It's like he's not even _seeing_ her as she claws at the fingers cutting off her air supply. "Can't...breathe...Arthur _please_ ," Kimiyo gasps. His grip simply tightens, and the room begins to go dark as she's slowly strangled. Powering up doesn't do any good so she does the last thing she has strength for - she quits trying to pry his fingers from her throat, and seizes his ears instead to pull his face down to hers. 

The kiss is perfunctory at best (because who has time to really put any effort into it when you're dying?) but it has the effect that she wants - Arthur's eyes suddenly focus on her, finally _seeing_ Kimiyo, and he stops choking her. "Oh, God, _Kimiyo_...!"

Air rushes back into her lungs and she curls up instinctively, rubbing her throat and coughing. "Remind me to never do _that_ again," she wheezes.

"I didn't...I..." He's staring down at his hands, looking completely horrified. "I'm so sorry, I... I don't know what-"

Kimiyo moves to sit up and Arthur immediately reaches out to help before realizing that she might not want him to touch her, so he snatches his hands back. "It's... okay, I'm okay," she says, grabbing one of his hands in both of hers. She bites down on her lower lip and wills herself not to cry as she looks at him - her throat still hurts and she'll probably have bruises, but she knows he hadn't meant to hurt her. He would never... yet it _had_ scared the hell out of her. "I missed you so much," she says, and the tears come despite her efforts. "Every day, I missed you."

He makes another half-gesture, wanting to reach for her but still so ashamed of his earlier reaction that he can't make himself touch her, so Kimiyo does it for him. She flings herself into his arms and buries her face in his neck, breathing in the scent of his skin that had evaporated from his clothing months earlier. His arms come around her hesitantly at first, then they tighten. "I missed you, too."

Kimiyo presses herself against him as tightly as she can, then draws back enough to kiss him. The first touch of his mouth against hers is enough to make her cry even harder, even as she tries to fumble for the buttons on her blouse. She desperately needs the reassurance that making love with him will provide, something that _proves_ that he's really here with her right now, but her hands are shaking too hard. Arthur's own sense of urgency has taken over and he kisses her feverishly, muttering disjointed and half-formed sentences that he's no doubt completed in his mind. Her love and need for him has made her skin luminescent, and she's not even fully aware of it when Arthur makes a sound of discomfort and draws back from her slightly.

Her top ends up ripped because neither of them have patience to carefully unbutton it, and Kimiyo's fingers knot in his long hair as Arthur moves his mouth over her skin. He never bothered to get dressed after his shower when he'd returned, so he's already fully nude as he settles over her. Kimiyo rubs her hands over as much of his body that she can reach, wanting to touch every part of him. She never imagined that he would _really_ return to her, even though she's longed for this moment since the day he'd disappeared. "Oh, Arthur," she half-sobs, lifting her hips so that he can shift between her legs. He shoves her skirt up around her waist, kissing her again as his fingers hook her panties to move them aside. "Please, yes...!"

The feel of his shaft pushing into her is almost more than she can bear. Kimiyo cries out as he stretches her inner walls, and she clings to him while Arthur rocks back and forth slowly. "God, I love you," he whispers, burying his face in her neck. "I love you so fucking much." He pulls from her body, then buries himself inside her again with a strong thrust that makes her clutch at his shoulders. 

Her power surges once more, and this time she notices his flinch of pain. "I'm sorry, did I-?"

"It's fine," Arthur says, distracting her with another deep kiss that sets her head spinning. He braces himself and pushes inside her again and again. “It’s perfect.” Kimiyo lifts up to meet him, and her whimpers rise in volume as they move together with increasing urgency. The headboard slams into the wall and the entire bed frame shakes with their movements. Her world constricts to the bed beneath and the man on top of her, the sounds of their bodies connecting and the sharp burn of pleasure that reduces her to simply holding on to him as Arthur steadily brings her to climax. She can hear from his labored breathing how close he is, feeling it through the shivers that contract the muscles of his back as she clings to him. 

Kimiyo feels the tears well up anew as the pressure inside her builds to a peak, and she presses her face into his shoulder in a last ditch attempt to stop from crying. The combination of intense physical and emotional release makes it impossible to hold back, and tears spill down her cheeks even as she's overwhelmed by the intensity of her orgasm. Her body clenches around him tightly, every thrust of his cock inside her adding to the incredible sensation. Kimiyo never expected to feel this again with him and it's absolutely perfect in all ways but one... though she can't really expect Arthur to be at one hundred percent after what he's been through, can she? There will be time enough, and being here with him on top of her is certainly _good_ enough. _It's more than good enough_ , she thinks, holding him close as he rocks his hips and makes a soft sound in the back of his throat.

Arthur sighs and nuzzles at her hair, breathing heavily. She can feel him twitch inside her and tightens her arms when he gathers himself to move off of her. "Don't go," Kimiyo sniffles. "Just...stay here."

"They're your internal organs," he concedes with a shrug. 

She laughs a little louder than the 'joke' really warrants, euphoria making her feel drunk. “You’re the only one allowed to squish them.” 

They stay locked together for a few more minutes, then Arthur moves off to the side. “You _did_ bring back food, right?”

Kimiyo curls against him and runs her fingers through that startlingly shaggy hair of his. "Are you going to keep this? You need a trim, but I think I like it," she says appraisingly. "That beard is something else."

"I don't know. I suppose I've just gotten used to it," Arthur yawns. "You never said, about the food...?"

Kimiyo stretches, kissing him lovingly. "Promise you won't spill, and I'll bring it in here." She checks the clock - they still have an hour before the children get home from school, so it's perfectly acceptable to walk through the house naked. She dumps some of the soup in their containers and brings them back in and, though she's hungry enough to eat with him, decides to check him for any wounds that she can treat by herself. Arthur nearly inhales his food and ignores Kimiyo's questions about his diet, but she can see the signs of malnourishment for herself and she's glad that most of what she brought home is reasonably bland. His body is decorated with a number of new scars, a few serious-looking burns and if she didn't know any better she'd say he was running a low-grade fever - he accepts medication for it without comment.

The main thing that has her worried, however, is that something might be affecting his metagene. Kimiyo wants to avoid pressing Arthur for details he clearly doesn't feel like sharing, but his...lack of response...to her is something she'd love to blame Luthor's teleportation device for. The only alternative explanation is too unthinkable, yet Arthur had to be just as convinced that he wouldn't return so why wouldn't he...? _No,_ Kimiyo decides. Of course he still loves her; he'd already told her so half a dozen times during their lovemaking. 

There’s no use borrowing trouble, but the thought proves impossible to expel. Kimiyo watches him down yet another container and stops him from reaching for another. “You’ll make yourself sick. Take a few minutes, okay?”

The look Arthur gives her borders on unfriendly. “I’m still hungry, and I’m going to eat.”

“Please, Artie.”

He holds the spoon between his teeth and takes the container of soup anyway, his eyes fixed on hers. Kimiyo feels so confused and upset, she doesn’t know what to do… she’d thought that if he ever came back to her, they’d be _happy_. They _had_ been happy, just a few minutes earlier. Arthur takes his eyes off of her and starts eating, though he does slow down. “Where were you?” he asks suddenly.

“I was at work-”

“No, I went to Kord first. You weren’t there.”

“I work at S.T.A.R. Labs now,” Kimiyo says, waiting for him to look up at her but all Arthur does is poke at the soup with his spoon. “I was in Metropolis when I heard… I wanted to find you, but-”

“But you…didn’t.”

So _that’s_ what is wrong. “Oh, Arthur.” Kimiyo swallows back the explanation that she was busy helping the other supervillains and getting as many as she could to safety, because it won’t accomplish anything but alienating him further. Besides, she can imagine how much it would hurt her if _he_ didn’t come for her right away. “What _happened_ to you?”

Arthur stares down at his food. “There were seven of us powering the tubes… Luthor had them tied in to a teleporter we’d been building for the last five months and it was rigged it to explode once we were gone, but it blew early. I wasn’t supposed to make it back – the others were killed in the explosion.”

She reaches to touch him and feels Arthur stiffen, so Kimiyo draws her hand back. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you.”

“I couldn’t find you. I looked, but… I barely even made it here. Something happened during the teleport.” Arthur finally looks at her. “I almost didn’t have enough power to re-form and I turned on all of the lights, but I couldn’t absorb any of it. Whatever happened, I think it burned me out.”

 

Kimiyo stares at him in disbelief. "It couldn't have." She's never even heard of such a thing, especially in as strong as a meta as Arthur is... yet what other explanation can there be? When he hadn't responded to her, she'd never dreamed that it was because he _couldn't_. "So, earlier...when we...?" 

He twists to display one of his shoulder blades, and the angry red burns she'd thought he had simply come home with. Kimiyo had wondered why it had looked so much like a handprint. He resumes eating while she watches him, lost for words. "Where'd my stuff go? Nobody sold it, did they?"

"No, I put all of it in storage," she says, and there's a slightly awkward silence when he looks up at her expectantly. "I guess you want to know where that is."

Arthur is looking at her as if she's grown a third eye in the middle of her forehead. "Well, yes... unless it's a secret."

She flushes slightly, wanting to ask him what he needs so badly. "I'll go and get your things."

"I don't need them right _now_ ," Arthur says. "Tomorrow's soon enough if you don't mind me staying the night again."

"No, it's fine." Kimiyo gazes at him, and the awkwardness between them disappears as she recalls words he'd used to reassure her earlier. "It's perfect."

He sets the empty container aside and looks back at her before reaching out as he lies down again. "Come here." She scoots over immediately, careful not to jostle him unnecessarily but happy to just be near him after so long. "Look, are you sure you're okay?" Arthur asks, touching the side of her neck lightly. "I'm so sorry."

"You scared me half to death, but I'm okay. Maybe a little sore." Kimiyo skims her palm over his stomach, smiling at the rumbling digestive sounds beneath her ear. "I almost feel like I'm dreaming and, once I wake up, I'll be alone again." She looks up gauge his response, only to see that Arthur has fallen asleep again... apparently the pleasure of her company has been outweighed by a full stomach and an orgasm, Kimiyo thinks to herself with a smile. The smile falters as she remembers what he'd told her concerning his metagene, and the marks she'd inadvertently left on him when they'd made love. She lifts a hand to touch her throat gingerly, thinking that they've both better learn how to be more careful with each other.

Perhaps she can talk to Doctor Mid-Nite about the possibility of metagene burnout.

She regretfully slips out from under his arm, wanting to get everything cleaned up before the children come home from school - she's also got to think about what they're going to have for dinner because she's not sure that Arthur is completely ready to slip back into his old role. Kimiyo bites her lip, glancing towards the bedroom with a fervent wish that everything goes well.

Arthur surprises her by coming out to help just fifteen minutes later, taking the knife from her hands and looking around the kitchen. "What was this going to be?" he asks, peering inside the pot of broth she's boiling on the stove.

"You don't have to-"

"If I'm going to eat it, I most certainly _do_."

She opens her mouth to argue, and he closes his thumb and forefinger on her chin to hold her still so that he can kiss her. "Don't get any beard hair in it," Kimiyo remembers to say as he lifts her onto the counter and starts hiking her skirt up around her hips once more.

Arthur gives her a dirty grin and slides his hands beneath her ass, lifting her to his mouth. "The food, or _you_?"

"Oh, God," she says faintly as he bends to his self-appointed task. "Oh, _God_...!"

This isn't a good idea. It's so far from being a good idea, it could go in the Guinness Book of World Records and what happens if the kids come home and find them? What if Imako sees him and demands a kiss on the forehead, or even the cheek? "I'll brush my teeth first," Arthur replies to her semi-delirious rambles. "C’mon, Princess Hoshi. Just relax and let me take care of you."

She'd nearly forgotten how good he is at this, Kimiyo thinks later as she's sprawled on the couch staring up at the ceiling and waiting for the return of higher brain function. _Note to self: start wearing pants around the sexually ravenous supervillain_. Arthur has left to finish dinner prep and brush his teeth as promised, and Kimiyo rolls her head to one side as he comes back in to sit beside her. "Everything okay?" he asks, sounding so smug that she wants to laugh.

"Mmm," Kimiyo sighs. "I should go get changed."

"That's probably a good idea," Arthur says. "In fact, why don't I-"

" _No_ ," she says, trying to look stern. He trails after her anyway and despite the fact that she's already in danger of being bow-legged for the rest of her life, the look in his eyes as he watches her undress... Kimiyo steps out of her panties and turns, leaning over the edge of the bed to present herself to him. "Yes." Within seconds he's pushing into her from behind, thick and hot. It's too soon for her to have another climax but Kimiyo is content to simply enjoy the sensation of Arthur holding her waist and pounding into her.

After a shared shower and a change of clothes (for her, because Arthur only has what he's wearing now), they return to their 'duties' - he salvages her attempt at making stew by turning it into a pot of chicken and noodles, and she cleans up while bringing him up to speed on what he's missed. "Yasu might have a request or two concerning his science project," Kimiyo says, watching him lean against the kitchen counter and look around the room as if it's the first time he's been there. They don't discuss Salvation at all. "Don't feel like you have to - we've been working on something else, but when he heard you were back..."

"I left the plans back in my apartment, so I could go and-" he stops short at remembering that he doesn't have an apartment any longer, and certainly no way to get there even if he _did_ have one. "I could make new ones," Arthur says instead, looking away.

The sounds of footsteps pounding up the stairs make both of them glance at the door, moments before Imako comes sailing through it. "Onii-sama! You're awake," she cries out. As predicted, she flings herself into Arthur's arms and doesn't even notice all the extra hair until she draws back to look at him. "You look like the paper towel man," she says critically. "There's hair everywhere!"

"Yeah; wow," Yasu observes from the doorway. "You're gonna shave, right?"

"It's nice to see you, too," Arthur says.

Imako drops back down to the floor and begins rummaging through her backpack, dumping half of the contents out onto the floor until she finds what she's looking for and holds it up with a triumphant shout. "Okay, you go sit down and I'll be right there," she orders, brandishing a pack of hair ties. "This is gonna be _great_!"

Perhaps it's time for Kimiyo to step in and take control of the situation. "You can't just assume he's going to let you play with his hair, sweetie. Did you even ask first?" she chides.

The little girl looks up at her, then swivels to look at Arthur. "You're gonna let me braid your hair, right?"

He shrugs. "Why not?"

Imako looks back at her. " _See?_ "

"I stand corrected."

Yasu leaves to put his things in his room, then comes back to watch his little sister combing Arthur's hair and putting it into a ponytail before trying to braid his beard. "So what have you been up to these days?" Imako asks seriously. "Hairdressers always have to talk to their customers, so you need to play along."

"Is that so?"

"It is," she confirms. "I heard you were on a whole different _planet_. Were there dinosaurs?"

Yasu can't help interrupting. "Dinosaurs don't live on other planets, dummy!"

Arthur tilts his chin so that Kimiyo's youngest can finish the braid she's currently struggling with. "There might have been dinosaurs."

"There were _not_!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were there too. If I'd only known, we could have finished the plans for that science project... what a shame," Arthur says.

Yasu straightens in his seat. "You remember the science project?"

"I remember promising to help you, yes. When is it due?"

"The fair is in two weeks," Yasu says hopefully. "Do you think there's time to finish it?"

"Why don't you show me what you've been working on, and we'll go from there," he suggests.

Imako growls suddenly and stamps her foot. "Onii-sama, hold _still_!"

"Sorry..."

Kimiyo settles in with a mug of tea to watch Arthur receive his makeover while simultaneously fielding questions about his exile and helping with homework. He assures her that he's fine when he catches her worried stare, and returns to convincing Imako that Salvation had been overrun by fire-breathing unicorns. Yasu is beside himself when Arthur finishes sketching a diagram of some contraption that will... well, she's not entirely sure what the thing is supposed to do but Kimiyo has no doubt it will work as promised with Yasu's 'helper' having a physics doctorate. It will probably work only too well, resulting in her son's disqualification. "You _do_ realize that you'll have to use that only as a suggestion?"

"What if I say he's my consultant?"

"It might be best if you talked with your teacher about it first, and let him know that you're receiving help from an actual physicist," Kimiyo says, reminding her son that this could be interpreted as cheating. "Why don't you study what Arthur has drawn up, then put the notes aside and draft your own plan? Having two scientists around the house to help out is kind of an unfair advantage."

Yasu looks between them with a frown. "He's not _around the house_ ," he says in a tone that makes Kimiyo want to throttle him.

" _Yasu_! Arthur is staying with us-"

"...for a few more days until he finds another apartment," Arthur finishes. "I'll be out of your way by Monday."

She looks over at him in surprise. "Monday? You're...?" Kimiyo buries her face in her mug to avoid meeting his eyes, then gets up quickly to rinse it out in the kitchen sink.

"Why can't you stay here?" her daughter asks the question that she can't, and Kimiyo turns the water off so that she doesn't miss hearing Arthur's response.

"The three of you need your space," Arthur explains. "It's not exactly fair for me to expect you to drop everything and make room for me, is it? I need more space to build a death ray and the only spot big enough is _your_ room."

Imako is properly horrified. "Don't put a death ray in my room; I sleep in there!"

"They also don't work right if there are too many stuffed animals around. Did I ever tell you about the time I tried to build one in FAO Schwartz?"

"Oooooooh, _tell it now_...!"

The uncertainty and insecurity she'd felt earlier come rushing back to her as she listens to Arthur's tall tale. Kimiyo is sure that none of the feelings roiling inside her are showing on her face, though Arthur's gaze sharpens when he glances over at her to gauge her reception of his story. She forces a smile on her face and wracks her brain to think of some task she could work on to keep busy until the children go to bed later.

"I thought we were going to move in together," Kimiyo says quietly as she brushes her hair, careful not to look at him.

The bed dips as he sits down. "It was never going to be _here_ ," Arthur says. "I think we all need our space."

"Is this about Yasu? Just give him time to get used to you again-"

"It isn't just about Yasu."

Kimiyo turns to look at him. "Then what? It's about me?"

"Were you always this damn touchy? I'd've thought I would remember something like that," Arthur says. "It's not about you! _Jesus_."

Her eyes widen. "Touchy?"

"Look - just forget it, okay? It's just...not about you," he says tiredly. "I'm not fit company for _myself_ , let alone anyone else. I tried to kill you earlier today, and I can't rule out having it happen again; if you can get the storage key for me, I'll have it all out by the end of the day tomorrow."

Kimiyo reaches out for his hand. "I'm not scared of you. I want you to stay with me - _us_. I'm not worried about a repeat of earlier."

"You might not be, but _I_ am. Miko, I can't stay here. I've got to go."

"But-"

Arthur pulls her into his arms, and she closes her eyes in order to concentrate on the sound of his heartbeat. "I need some time to myself, okay? I haven't even been able to hear myself _think_ for the past six months - it doesn't mean that I don't love you, so I don't want you to think that."

"I don't," Kimiyo lies.

"Good, because you're definitely not wrinkling your nose right now...right?" She swears under her breath, which makes him laugh. He’d made a point to discover her ‘tells’ early on in their relationship "That's what I thought."

Kimiyo sighs and pushes away slightly so that she can look up at his face. "I've thought about you coming back for so long, and when it happens it's nothing like I'd imagined."

"Yeah; tell me about it."

"What... what _happened_ there?" she finally asks.

His face abruptly clears of all expression. "I don't want to discuss it."

"Arthur-"

"I _do not want to discuss it,_ " he repeats. “Is this going to be a problem?”

She leaps to her feet and backs away from the bed, raising her hands in disbelief. “Is that a _threat_? Arthur, what the _fuck_ is going on with you?”

“Why would I threaten you? You’re not being rational right now… look, if you want me to leave right now just say so and I’ll go.”

He looks at her patiently, and she pushes her hair out of her face with a violent motion. “Not being rational…!” She paces back and forth while he eyes her like she’s being…irrational…when Kimiyo knows damn well there’s nothing _irrational_ about wanting your partner to share their life experiences with you. “Okay, we’re not. We are not doing this right now, it’s not something that’s going to be happening tonight.”

“Look, I just… some fucked up shit happened there, okay? I don’t want about talk about it - I didn’t want to have to _live_ through it, but I had no choice… but I _can_ choose not to talk about it, so I’m doing that and need you to respect it.” Arthur rubs his hands over his face. “Let’s just go to bed, yeah?”

“If you ever decide you want to talk about it…”

“I’ll be honest with you, Kim. I’m not sure it’s something that I ever want you to know. Now, can we please change the subject? What’s going on with Noah, what’s _he_ been doing?”

They talk for a while longer and, though Kimiyo thinks about broaching the subject of the miscarriage, she decides against mentioning it just yet. There'll be time enough to let him know that he was supposed to be a father. Her emotions are still in turmoil, but when Arthur moves close to her with a look in his eyes that's still recognizable even if so much about him _isn't_ , she's only too relieved to give in to her own longings.

In the morning, Kimiyo wakes to find the bed empty and for a panic-stricken moment she thinks that she's only dreamed that Arthur has returned to her before she hears his voice in the other room.

"No, I need something that won't....yeah. It doesn't have to be in the same _place_ , but the area wasn't too bad," Arthur is saying as she sticks her head out of the door - he's on the phone, thankfully, so Kimiyo is free to emerge half-dressed. He smiles at her and stretches an arm out for her to walk under. "Something similar, okay? I gotta go, but tell him to give me a call if there's any problems. Thanks, man." He hangs up and tosses the phone onto the counter, gathering her up in his arms. "Good morning."

Kimiyo strokes the hair covering the back of his neck, kissing his temple. "Yes, it is. Who was that on the phone?"

"Noah."

"Back in business already?"

He shrugs. “Most of his customer base is back, so why not?”

Why not, indeed. “Were…were you asking him to find a new apartment for you?” Arthur reminds her that Noah’s cousin is a realtor and she slides back down to the floor, remembering when he’d told her about the man in the first place. “We’re still planning on finding a place _together_ , right? Have you changed your mind about that?”

“There’s a little more on my mind than just finding a house, Miko. Let’s just take this one step at a time, okay?” He looks vaguely annoyed that she’s brought it up again, and she feels a surge of irritation – they’d _settled_ this already. Arthur has always been the one pushing for a commitment that’s never quite extended to marriage, and now he’s making her look like the stereotypical clingy girlfriend you only see in movies. She briefly considers flinging herself down on the carpet and having a tantrum about him not wanting to meet her parents, but curbs the impulse and simply goes to the hall closet to pull out the box of his ‘apartment.’ “What’s this?” Arthur asks when she hands it to him.

“Your stuff.”

“Huh?” He opens it and looks in, then back up at her. “The hell…?”

“Zatanna.”

“Oh.” Arthur is still staring in the box. “So, does she need to come by to fix it?”

Kimiyo explains about the counterspell, and about the business with his old landlady. “She seemed genuinely sorry you were gone, until it occurred to her that she’d have all the time in the world to browse through your place while it was sitting empty and unprotected. If I hadn’t offered to pay the rent myself, I wonder if she still would’ve tried to rob you.”

“Yeah, probably. I heard she did that to a few other tenants, so I always planned on giving her notice _after_ I left,” Arthur says with a shrug. “So you, uh, moved everything else out by yourself?”

She folds her arms across her chest and looks up at him sternly. “I know about the mattress, if that’s what you’re trying to bring up. Oh and before I forget, Zatanna says you mooned her in Vegas.”

“Is that what she says happened?”

“Yes. What was that about?”

“It was more of a…belt malfunction, but if she thinks that it was intentional then I’m not about to correct _that_ misunderstanding,” Arthur says, wincing. “God, that was embarrassing. I can’t believe she thought I’d planned it. About the mattress, though? What, um, what did you do with it?”

She lies and tells him that she had it burned, and watches his face shift into the most horrified expression she’s ever seen before coming clean. “I'm sure it was burned _after_ I removed your loot from inside it. I never thought you were the type to sleep atop your hoard like a dragon, Artie. How could you actually get any rest on top of all of that?”

Arthur shrugs and walks over to sit down on her couch, still holding his apartment. He looks inside the box again, then sets it on the floor as she walks over to sit with him. “It wasn’t that bad. All I had to do was ‘make’ a cushion, and it was better than a normal mattress. What did you do with the money, return it?”

“Actually, I have no clue what happened to it - I had Merlyn take care of it and only kept the other papers, which are in a box in my closet," she confesses. 

"Why would you involve _him_?" Arthur demands, and Kimiyo sighs at the sharpness of his tone. She'd somehow thought that his mood swings would have ceased now that he _knows_ he's safe. Surely he knows that. 

She explains what had happened and he relaxes, but Kimiyo has to wonder what had been going through his mind. The idea that she would have cheated on Arthur - and with _Merlyn_ \- is seriously mind-boggling... as is the idea that it could have been classified as cheating in the first place when she hadn't heard anything from Salvation for months. “He misses you, sweetheart. You should go to visit him; it’ll do both of you good to see each other again.”

“Sure. As soon as I get a microscope and find my driver’s license in all of this” he nudges the box with his foot “I’ll drive right on over to say hello.”

Kimiyo reminds him that it hadn’t been that long ago when _she_ had been bumming ‘rides’ from him, and she’s ready to return the favor. “At least until you get your tech back – I’m guessing it’s all in the box, too.”

Arthur grunts and scratches at his beard. "Who the hell knows if it even works after all this time? Probably easier just to make it from scratch again."

It's not exactly good news that he still thinks his old line of work is something he might be able to pick back up, but it's not as if Kimiyo has expected anything different. It would be wonderful if he found his true calling to be something other than crime, but it also wouldn't be realistic - she's known him for far too long to believe anything else. Kimiyo presses her forehead against his shoulder. “I have this strange feeling that, once you leave here, you’re not coming back again.”

Arthur winds a lock of her hair around one of his fingers. “Don’t worry so much.”

“Easier said than done, I’m afraid.” They curl up on the couch together, and Kimiyo closes her eyes as he begins to comb through her hair with his fingers. "That feels nice," she whispers. She stretches with a contented sigh, smiling when she feels his body react to the friction. With both children safely in school and the door locked, Kimiyo feels free to slide down and unzip his jeans right there in the living room.


	3. Chapter 3

Noah gets back in touch surprisingly quickly, which probably means that he's sent his helper to bully someone into a vacancy - she's a little exasperated when Arthur accepts it sight unseen, but Kimiyo has to admit that it's a lot better than his old place. This isn't saying _much_ , of course, but it's an improvement that they both can live with. She's not sure about the neighborhood, but living close to Boston has always seemed to suit him just fine and she supposes that Roxbury has its own kind of charm. Getting the lease signed without photo I.D. or even money is a little tricky until Arthur tosses the box holding all of his belongings onto the floor. "Everything's in here. Take her purse until I get it set up - she won't mind."

She _does_ mind, but hands her purse to Arthur's would-be landlord anyway. "Can you give us a minute?"

The man shakes his head and closes the door behind him, muttering something about crazy people. Arthur sits on his heels and frowns at the box. "Exactly how is this thing supposed to work? She _did_ explain, I hope."

"She did. Six whole months ago... oh, Lord." Kimiyo crouches down beside him and peers inside the box, hoping the landlord isn't currently rummaging through her purse. "Um, let me see here... I seem to remember that she put something inside after performing the initial spell. Do you notice anything that isn't supposed to be in there?"

Arthur squints into the box. "It's not like I did inventory before I was deported at gunpoint, Kim, and I can't focus-" he breaks off and rubs at the bridge of his nose. "I can't see anything new."

"Maybe I'm supposed to tell the box to get bigger?" Kimiyo guesses, and thinks for a moment before she tries it backwards. "Reggib!"

He rakes his hand through his hair. "Could you call her? It'd be just our luck if it turned out to be something as simple as yelling the word _unpack_ -" they're both startled as the box lifts off the ground, and Kimiyo's mouth drops open upon seeing the contents of Arthur's old apartment expand to fit the new. "Well, I guess it _is_ our luck," he finally says after he quits staring. Arthur walks over to one of his bookcases and pulls a book on string theory off the shelf, flipping through it until he comes to several pages with bills taped to them.

"You've got to be kidding me - that's where you hide money?"

"Who's going to steal the type of books I read?" Arthur points out, carefully peeling off a few hundred-dollar bills. He then digs through an old shoebox full of receipts instead of unlocking the safe that's sitting right beside it, withdrawing an envelope that seems to be a repository for at least five passports and three different driver's licenses. Kimiyo reaches for it after he selects one, and she sits down on the floor to have a good look at them while Arthur goes out in the hall to pay his first and last month's rent...and get her purse back.

One of the passports is expired - and bears his real name - so she flips through that one first to peek at his birth year. He'd gotten it when he was eighteen but Kimiyo's not sure why he even bothered, because it's never been stamped. A quick glance at the others shows that Arthur's set himself up as a citizen of Canada, French Guiana, and Sweden under assumed names and that he's six years younger in Latin America for some reason. The other US passport is a more recent one, which _does_ have stamps inside it. She studies the legal passports more closely, comparing the photos and smiling at how different Arthur looked as a tousle-haired and baby-faced teenager; of course the bone structure is the same and he's certainly recognizable, but maturity has definitely been kinder to him than anyone has a right to expect. 

"Why French Guiana?" she asks when he comes back in and hands the purse back.

Arthur laces his fingers together behind his head, frowning around the living room. "What about French Guiana?" Kimiyo flourishes the passport as a reminder. "Oh, that. It was cheaper to get three, so I just had the guy pick a country."

Bemused at the thought of a “Buy Two, Get One Illegal Document Free!” deal, Kimiyo puts the passports back in the envelope after one final glance at 'baby' Arthur's photo. "You were so cute - what happened to you?" she teases.

"Life happened to me," he says shortly.

_Okay, so no teasing._ She follows him into his new bedroom, exchanging the envelope of photo IDs for one of his old pillows so that she can sit on it while he changes his clothes. It's still startling to see the lurid scars he's so recently picked up, and Kimiyo wishes once again that he felt comfortable enough to tell her how he got them. "How have your joints been doing? You could probably use a massage," she says innocently as Arthur pauses in the act of hauling a pair of pants up over his thighs. "You'd have to take those back off."

Arthur pulls them the rest of the way up. _Unbelievable_. "Sorry, I've got some things to do first." Kimiyo tilts her head and looks up at him expectantly, then feels her cheeks flush as he clarifies. "Alone."

"Oh," she says, climbing to her feet and brushing off the backs of her thighs. "Sure, yeah."

He tugs her back towards him when she starts for the door, grasping her beneath the arms and lifting her up so that their eyes are level. "Hey," Arthur says gently.

"I _know_." Kimiyo feels ridiculous and to hide it she crosses her arms while still dangling in midair, which makes Arthur smile. 

"Maybe tonight after they go to bed?" he suggests, lowering her back to the floor. She lets him know that she fully expects _some_ sort of sleeping surface if she's to return later, and Arthur swears that he'll figure something out before she gets back. 

Her phone rings as she's kissing Arthur goodbye, and Kimiyo sighs upon seeing the number on the caller ID display. "I'll see you tonight," she promises, teleporting back home before answering the call - it's one of her peers at S.T.A.R. Labs advising her of a meeting due to convene within the next hour. Kimiyo wonders if Ted will have her back if she's fired... she wouldn't exactly _blame_ them; she'd granted sanctuary and aid to a large group of criminals in a place teeming with sensitive and _very_ expensive technology. Still, what else could she have done - simply barricaded the doors and refused to help those in need?

Kimiyo goes in hot, prepared to defend her decision even if it means she'll be fired immediately. As soon as the meeting gets underway, she launches herself from her chair and reminds them of the Hippocratic Oath she (and many other employees) had taken, along with the moral responsibilities a member of the Justice League never retreats from. The assembled directors stare at her in surprise until one of the regional managers gently cuts across her tirade by saying that her job security isn't in question - they've actually gathered to discuss heightened security measures in the event of another 'criminal influx.' She drops back into her seat and, to mask her embarrassment, suggests a stronger EM shield with a rotating frequency. The offices are still empty, for the most part - normal operations will be resuming at the beginning of week, and Kimiyo walks the darkened halls quietly after the meeting adjourns. The board of directors have voted to present her with a commendation for her role in bringing order from chaos, with several of them personally thanking her for keeping the situation from escalating into needless violence. She's apparently won over several of the other doctors who had been impressed by the way she had handled the newly returned supervillains - she's never cared for their opinions and she doesn't care now, but their regard could prove useful if she needs to wield influence to get a project either off the ground or scrapped completely. It feels odd to once again be staying at home for an Arthur-related reason, but under vastly different circumstances – this time, she can actually go see him whenever she wants… provided he doesn’t kick her out again. She feels irritated with him for wanting time away from her, and irritated with herself for feeling irritated with _him_. “My transformation into Clingy Girlfriend is now complete,” she thinks aloud as she raids her office for some files she wants to look over.

Later in the evening after the kids are in bed, Kimiyo stops by Arthur’s apartment to find that he’s somehow gotten his couch back from Merlyn and has replaced the dearly-departed ‘loot mattress’ with one that hasn’t been eviscerated yet. They work off more of the built-up frustration that their forced separation had caused, but Arthur's mood sours irretrievably when she makes the mistake of reminiscing about how they'd once set his curtains on fire. Kimiyo supposes that it'll be some time before he even begins to get over losing his ability and inadvertently angers him even further by asking if he'll return to using his old tech. She 'ports back to her own bedroom acutely aware of her misstep, satisfied in body if not in mind - in an abrupt about-face, Arthur calls to ask if she wants to have dinner with him the following evening and acts as if nothing is wrong. 

In what becomes a troubling routine for them, even their more harmonious interactions become tainted by increasingly frequent arguments and as time passes, Kimiyo realizes that something is very, very wrong...but she has no idea how to fix it. Arthur's mood swings grow even more unpredictable, his reliability has reached an all-time low, and he's started drinking. She's seen him drunk before, but this is different in a way that makes chills climb her spine whenever she finds him single-mindedly downing alcohol in an effort to blot out whatever memories he's carried from Salvation. He's also turned out to be a mean drunk, which has earned Arthur a ban from her apartment until he can be sober for more than a week. Of course they live far enough apart that he can't easily visit because, as Arthur is increasingly apt to mention, he can't teleport anymore. "You're so bitter," she comments one night when they've gotten together for dinner that didn't exactly go as planned - Arthur had managed to get them both kicked out of the restaurant after their server had recognized him... Kimiyo isn't sure how _that_ had happened because he still looks like an unkempt lumberjack, but Arthur's pride had been tweaked and his temper had lost them their table. "Why don't we just eat in, tonight?"

Arthur's face darkens. "What, so I can make dinner? Because that's just about all I'm good for, now?" he demands. "Why the fuck _wouldn't_ I be bitter? You can't stand there and tell me that if it happened to you, you'd be totally fine with it, because that is a load of _bullshit_ and you know it!"

He's loud enough that they're garnering a lot more attention than she'd like and Kimiyo reaches out to touch his arm to calm him, but Arthur knocks her hand away angrily. "Artie, please. Not here."

"You're ashamed to be seen with me, now? Is that it, Kimiyo?"

From the corner of her eye, Kimiyo can see a woman pulling a cellphone from her purse while watching them. "Someone's going to call the police on you, so you need to _keep it down_ ," she hisses at him. 

"I have as much right as anyone else to stand here and _talk_ ," Arthur roars, and Kimiyo suddenly realizes that she hadn't checked his breath before they left his apartment. If police show up to a domestic dispute and he's intoxicated...

Kimiyo reaches her hands out to take his. "I know, sweetie, but you know how people are - always taking video of strangers and posting it online, or calling the police for every little thing they don't like the looks of," she tries, plastering a smile on her face. "C'mon, let's go home and I'll make something for us."

"You can't cook worth a damn," Arthur says dismissively, but it looks like he's calming down so she lets it slide. While it _is_ true, she's not in the habit of letting anyone get away with that sort of inflammatory statement. 

"You're good at more than just cooking, Arthur. Yasu has never been so interested in science; just the other day he was telling me more about that project you were helping him with and the excitement on his face..."

"He's picked it up quickly," Arthur agrees, and Kimiyo begins to relax until the sudden, short _whoop_ of a patrol car's siren splits the air behind them. They both turn to see the police car sliding into a parking space, and she feels his bicep swelling beneath her palm as Arthur's fists clench. "Let's go."

While Kimiyo doesn't think this is a good idea, it's probably better than staying and letting him get arrested - because there's absolutely no way that Arthur will stay civil enough for the cop to leave without incident. Of course, there's little enough chance that they _will_ just be allowed to leave... and she's proved right as the policeman calls out to them. "Just a minute there, folks." _Oh, no_. Kimiyo halts obediently, but Arthur keeps walking purposefully. " _Sir_."

"Is there a problem, officer?" Kimiyo asks, trying to think of something that can defuse the potentially dangerous situation. “We're just headed home."

The other man approaches them cautiously, and she feels like screaming aloud when his hand lifts to rest on his sidearm. "I'd like to see some I.D. please, sir."

Arthur pivots slowly, and it's clear that this confrontation isn't one that will end well. He sweeps the officer with a head-to-toe look of utter disdain. " _No_."

" _Arthur_ ," Kimiyo hisses. "Knock it _off!_ "

"We received a report that Doctor Light was down here causing some trouble," the policeman - Kimiyo is close enough to read the name 'Dawkins' on his shirt - says, tightening the grip on his weapon. "You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

Arthur moves to fold his arms across his chest so suddenly that Dawkins gets spooked and draws the gun. "Are you going to _shoot_ me?" he asks mockingly.

"Hands on the back of your head," Dawkins shouts, transferring the gun to one hand so that he can reach up to use the radio strapped to his shoulder. "Delta Charlie Echo Fourteen requesting backup; Bludhaven Commons at Twelfth and Main. Meta containment advised."

If there had been any chance at defusing the situation, all hope is lost as soon as these words are uttered. Kimiyo watches Arthur's mouth twist and an expression of pure fury distorts his features as he takes a step forward. "Can't handle me by yourself, little pig? Just how many do you think you'll have to call out of the sty?"

"On the ground - _now_ ," the policeman yells, his voice swinging into its upper register.

_"No_ ," Arthur repeats himself. He easily removes Kimiyo's death grip on his arm and keeps advancing on the visibly trembling Officer Dawkins. There's absolutely no way that this can end with them simply bidding each other goodnight, especially with a newly-minted police officer who is only seconds away from shooting her lover in the chest, so Kimiyo does the only thing she can think of and leaps in front of Arthur.

The gun immediately swings towards her. "Ma'am, get _back_!"

She'd thought that her intervention would surprise Arthur enough to regain a measure of control, and it would have worked perfectly if she'd taken into account that he would jostle her from behind as he checked his movement. What happens next is like something out of a dark comedy - or at least it would be if it had been happening to anyone else but them. Dawkins' nervousness and inexperience gets the better of him, and he fires the gun.

The shot goes wide, but unfortunately not wide enough because it clips Kimiyo's shoulder. Arthur becomes so enraged at her injury that he tackles a stuttering Officer Dawkins and is beating him senseless by the time backup arrives to make an arrest. She feels like weeping as she watches three officers slam Arthur onto the pavement, wrenching his arms behind his back so roughly they'll have dislocated his shoulder - he's stopped fighting and finally seems to realize what he's done as he struggles to turn his head enough to look for her. One of the arresting officers takes this as a sign that Arthur's resisting, and slams her knee into his face.

" _Arthur_ ," she cries, but is held back by one of the other officers when she tries to go to him. Kimiyo looks over to catch Dawkins' eye. "Let me near him."

"Not gonna happen-"

" _This_ shouldn't have happened," she snarls back, anger making her power activate so that if he hadn't known who Arthur had been on a date with, he certainly does now. "You had no right to detain us in the first place, and if you hadn't _shot_ me he wouldn't have jumped you! I could have handled it! _Let. Me Near_."

"But...you're the _other_ one," he says stupidly, staring at her.

Kimiyo gives him a withering look. "I see Bludhaven's brightest are out in force tonight. Now, you can either let me approach or you and your buddies can deal with him going postal because he doesn't know if I'm okay or not...and you don't strike me as the type to answer honestly if he asks."

When they realize that as a member of the Justice League, Kimiyo can call in her own brand of reinforcements, she's allowed to approach. She kneels down on the stained sidewalk and touches his face gently, wincing at the rapidly forming bruises and the blood still flowing from his broken nose. "I'm okay," she says softly. "It stings a little, but I'm fine... and could you get the hell off his neck? He's not going anywhere," she growls, but the female officer shakes her head negatively. "Shit. Well, I can't do anything but let them take you for assaulting a police officer - you've really outdone yourself this time."

Arthur just looks at her, then shifts his gaze to a point behind her before looking at her again. She turns to see that yet another group of officers have arrived, and one of them is holding a metal collar of the type more commonly found in Belle Reve. Kimiyo turns back to find Arthur gazing at her in mute appeal that she not say he doesn't need it. "Okay," she promises. "I'll be waiting for that call, so don't you dare use it up for anyone else." She doesn't tell him that she loves him, but Kimiyo knows that she doesn't have to. "Be _good_ , Arthur."

He blinks in exhausted acknowledgement, and Kimiyo allows herself to be led away for a witness statement while the inhibitor collar is snapped around Arthur's neck. She watches him being hauled into the back of a patrol car and is unpleasantly reminded of why they'd agreed long ago that she never be present while he's being arrested - even knowing that he only has himself to blame for losing his temper, it's unbelievably depressing to watch him being led away in handcuffs. It's past midnight when she finally gets home, but thoughts of going to bed are put on hold when Arthur calls to inform her that he's being released in the morning. " _Waller called it in,_ " Arthur says thickly, his voice distorted because of the damage to his nose. _"If you don't want to come, I understand._ "

"That was one of the worst nights of my life," Kimiyo says. "You fucked up, Arthur."

" _I know_ ," he tells her. " _I know._ "

At least he sounds sorry about the trouble he's gotten himself into this time, Kimiyo thinks despairingly. They're both silent until she can hear the guard warning Arthur that his time is up, then she sighs. "Try to get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

" _Okay_."

She hangs up after promising to bring a change of clothes for him, and inspects her wounded shoulder while wondering just what Amanda Waller is up to - nobody just _fixes_ a pending assault charge against a member of law enforcement out of the goodness of their heart. Kimiyo isn't exactly looking this gift horse in the mouth, but she'll be damned if she won’t inspect it from a safe distance with binoculars. She frowns down at the broken skin on her arm and applies antibiotic ointment before covering it with a bandage, then gets ready for bed.

In the morning, she drags her bleary-eyed self out of bed and has a quick shower to help wake up before getting dressed and teleporting to Arthur's apartment. Kimiyo loads one of Yasu's spare duffel bags with clean clothes, a travel-sized toiletry kit, two combs, and the first aid kit that she'd insisted that he keep beneath the bathroom sink. During her wait outside the processing room, she wonders again about Waller and what sort of favor the other woman will require in return. It's a safe bet that his 'Get Out Of Jail Free' card won't have made Arthur many friends in the Bludhaven precinct, so she's not at all surprised to see him in even worse shape than the night before.

He comes through the double doors with his clothing ripped, his hair matted, and blood still crusted beneath his nose and around his mouth. The bruises on his neck, face, and arms are nothing short of spectacular. "Oh, Arthur," Kimiyo sighs.

"You should see the other guy," Arthur replies, turning slightly towards the cop on desk duty so he can catch the reaction to his ill-advised wit.

"Arthur."

He shrugs his shoulders, wincing as the movement causes him pain. "In bad taste, I know." Arthur focuses on the cop still glaring hatred at him from behind the front desk. "Hey, listen - if you see... Hawkens? No, _Dawkins_. Anyway, if you see him please let him know I apologize for punching him in the eye."

Kimiyo blinks in surprise. Maybe he's learned his lesson after all.

"Yeah, I was aiming for his _mouth_. I'll aim better next time-"

Well, maybe not. She grabs his arm and teleports them several blocks away just as the recipient of Arthur's taunting jumps the desk to come after him. "What in the _hell_ is _wrong_ with you?" she yells. "What happened to your 'I know I fucked up' stance from last night?"

"It evaporated into thin air after they gave me these," Arthur says, lifting the hem of his shirt to display a band of bruises around his ribs. "They don't like it when you're let off their hook."

Kimiyo is all for charging back to the station, but he stops her by asking if they can at least get something to eat first. That reminds her that he hasn't eaten for at least sixteen hours, so they head to a nearby diner where the staff eyes Arthur warily. She knows what he likes to eat, so places their order while he disappears into the bathroom to change his clothes and wash the blood off of his face. When he eases himself into the booth across from her, Kimiyo slides a comb onto the table. "Is that sort of treatment _common_?" she asks, having puzzled over his lack of concern about it.

He eyes the glass of cranberry juice she'd asked the server to bring. "Happens all the time if they've got any collars in their inventory and what is _that_?"

"Just a precaution. If they couldn't even let you wash your face, it's a safe bet they stuck you in a cell with a broken toilet."

Arthur shrugs and drinks it, making a face at how sour it is. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." Kimiyo sits back to watch him comb his hair, wondering when he'll get tired of his new 'mountain man' persona and get it cut. She's gotten used to it, but greatly prefers how he looks with shorter hair and his signature goatee. Their food arrives and Arthur devours his meal with a single-minded intensity she's only recently witnessed while they're...not eating. “How are your arms? They wrenched them back pretty forcefully.” He shakes one of them out to prove that he’s fine and goes back to his food.

She invites him back to her place but all he wants to do is go home to his _own_ apartment, so Kimiyo teleports there and Arthur falls asleep in her arms as soon as they get to the bed. She dozes off until the sound of him having a nightmare wakes her an hour later - given that he's become dangerously aggressive if woken unexpectedly, Kimiyo doesn't try to shake him. The only thing she can do is rub her hand in circles over his stomach and hope that the gently repetitious movement calms him. Arthur thrashes and mutters in his sleep, but finally quiets enough for her to slip out of the bed undetected. Kimiyo leaves a note for him to call when he wakes up, adding that she has the afternoon free - right now, however, she's going to be late for work if she doesn't get a move on. 

She teleports straight to her office and gets out the small spray bottle of water she keeps in one of her desk drawers. After glancing around to make sure nobody's watching her (she always feels a bit silly doing this), Kimiyo sprays the water into the air and steps forward. The mist settles on her clothing and a quick surge of her light powers heats the water into steam - just like that, the wrinkles in her suit disappear and she's left with an outfit that looks as if she's just picked it up from the cleaners instead of having taken a nap. There are only three meetings on her agenda for the day and when she's prepping for the last one, Arthur sends her a text message that says he'll meet her at her apartment when she's finished. Kimiyo isn't too sure how he'll manage this, but when she gets home he's waiting in the lobby reading a magazine. "Eobard," he says in answer to her unspoken question, pushing off from the wall he's leaning against and tossing the magazine back on the table he picked it up from. "How was work?"

"I had back-to-back meetings," Kimiyo says as they step into the elevator together. "You know, I'm pretty sure I have some arnica for those bruises."

"I wouldn't want to be the reason you run out when you _really_ need it."

Kimiyo waits until the doors slide shut before raising herself onto her toes for a kiss. "Don't be silly. If you need it now, that's a good enough reason."

When they get to her door, she unlocks it and sends him over to the couch to undress. "I hope you're not counting on anything too acrobatic," Arthur says, acting as if all she's interested in is sex.

"That's too bad," Kimiyo replies, ducking into the bathroom to get the tube of arnica. "I was counting on you giving the Flying Graysons a run for their money."

"Considering how they ended up, I'll have to pass... how's your arm?"

Kimiyo sits down beside him and has him raise his arms so that she can slide her hands along his ribs, gently feeling for fractures. "He wasn't a very good shot; it barely knicked me. My shoulder is a little sore but I'll be fine - I'm more worried about you. Last night...you were drunk, weren't you? Arthur, what's going on with you?"

"Nothing you need to worry about, and _ow_ ," he complains, pulling away from her hands.

Putting aside this particular lie for later discussion, she quizzes him on how deeply he's breathing and whether or not he suppresses the urge to cough. "If you're taking shallow breaths, it could lead to a chest infection - especially if you're trying not to cough; if you need to, just hold a pillow against your chest." Kimiyo also instructs him in breathing exercises. "Ten deep breaths every hour. No cheating allowed, got it?"

"Yes, Doctor Hoshi," he says, bemused by her lecturing. "Aren't I suppose to get my ribs wrapped in some sort of bandage?"

"Absolutely not! You only see that crap in movies. Bandages would restrict your breathing; they're not safe... you should only get them if you’re going to the hospital to get looked over anyway." Kimiyo gently spreads the ointment, careful not to get it near the spots where the skin has been scratched up. "You're sounding a lot better," she says encouragingly, reaching up to put some of the arnica around the swollen bridge of his nose. "The fluid still hasn't drained, but you'll have some serious bruising around your eyes once it does."

Arthur reminds her that this isn't the first time he's had his nose broken, which may or may not be a dig at her concerning the first time they'd met. He asks to see her arm and when he's satisfied that he really doesn't need to go back to the station and finish what he'd started, allows her to continue fussing over him. Neither one of them is up for anything more strenuous than hanging out on the couch together, so Kimiyo props a few pillows against his side and takes his hand as he lowers the other arm over her shoulders carefully. "How _did_ Yasu's project go?"

She smiles, thinking of it. "He was deathly worried that he'd be disqualified after he mentioned you, but he brought in the sketches you made and showed his teacher so that they could compare them with what he wound up building..." Kimiyo describes it while Arthur listens closely, and once again she's surprised at how much of an interest he's taken in her family. She's a little less impressed by the way Arthur had spent his time climbing inside a bottle instead of attending the science fair like Yasu had requested.

"I suppose he's still mad at me."

" _Oh_ , yeah."

"I suppose _you're_ still mad at me, too."

"You suppose correctly, genius." Just thinking about it makes her want to strangle him.

Arthur sighs. "It's just...difficult."

"What, keeping your promise to a child?" she snaps back. "Yes, that must have been so very hard for you."

"You have no idea what it's like," Arthur says defensively.

Kimiyo sits up and pushes her hair back from her forehead in exasperation. "Of course I don't, Arthur. How can I, if you refuse to _tell_ me?"

"There are some things you're better off not knowing about, believe me-"

"How can I believe you? You keep me in the dark and say it's for my protection, but it really seems as though you just don't trust me enough to tell me the truth," Kimiyo says. "We're supposed to be a team, Artie. You can tell me anything - why can't you tell me _this_?"

Arthur tilts his head back and looks up at the ceiling. "I don't know. Maybe it's because you'd think...less...of me if you knew. Did you ever hear about that sports team whose plane crashed in the Andes? I mean, not that we resorted to _cannibalism_... Joker might've been close to it, but he's always been a little off."

More than a little, Kimiyo thinks to herself. Some of the team in question had survived but were roundly condemned when the truth came out about _how_ they had survived "I think I may know where you're coming from, but you have to know I'd still love you no matter what."

"It's very easy for you to say that, because I haven't told you anything," Arthur points out.

"I suppose it is," she agrees. "I just think it might help if you talked about it."

He's starting to look annoyed. "How could that help me, when I'm reliving being stuck in that hellhole every waking moment? I relive it even when I'm _not_ awake, Kimiyo. How is _talking_ supposed to help anything? Zatanna refused to erase the memory of it, did she tell you? I even brought her one of those bags you found in my mattress, and she _still_ said no."

"She never mentioned it to me," Kimiyo says, stunned.

"Well, I guess she wouldn't."

Kimiyo is abruptly reminded that they _still_ haven’t heard anything from or about J’onn – the other villains questioned about it hadn’t been very forthcoming, but of course it’s possible that Batman has already found out everything he wants to know. Something warns her not to ask Arthur about it, but what possible harm could it cause? He's already pissed off, so she might as well see if she can't get a straight answer from him. "Artie… what _did_ happen to J'onn?"

Arthur launches himself off of the couch with a look of utter fury on his face. "What the fuck would _you_ know about that? I thought you said-"

"Don't raise your voice at me," Kimiyo says warningly. "I've done my best to ignore the tricks you've tried to pull, but I have my limits. Today is a new day and the free pass I gave you when you came home is _over_."

"What are you talking about?" he demands. She reminds him of his past complaints about _her_ moodiness, and the thinly veiled threat that he'd attempted to cover by claiming that she'd been the irrational one. Arthur's eyes narrow. "Exactly how free _was_ that 'pass' if you're bringing it up now? This side of you is definitely something I didn't miss, Kimiyo."

Kimiyo stands up and advances upon him, jabbing her finger into his breastbone. "You're doing it _again_ , you jackass! Just like I knew you would - what is going _on_ with you to make you act like this?"

He knocks her hand away roughly. "Yeah, you don't like it when I stand up to you - you never have."

"What the hell are you _talking_ about?"

"I've always had to settle for being second best," he yells back at her. " _Always_! I'm sick of it!"

"Name one time when-"

"The fuck you mean, just _one_. If it's not your kids, it's your goddamned job. If it's not the job, then it's your friends and _then_ it's the fucking _League_. And you think that's okay, because I'm a pathetic loser whom nobody takes _seriously_ anymore and who is so eager for the merest scrap of your attention that I'll always sit back and let it happen because there is literally nothing else I can do."

"Arthur, wait-"

"No, _you_ wait! I'm tired of not being good enough, Kimiyo, and now you tell me that the entire League knew about J'onn being on Salvation. You're telling me that all of you knew exactly where we were and you _left us there_!" 

Kimiyo raises her hands defensively. "We didn't just _leave_ you, Arthur! It's a lot more complicated than that."

He's so upset his hands are opening and closing into white-knuckled fists, and part of her wonders if she needs to worry about him coming after her. "Of course it is - it _always_ is," Arthur roars at her. "God _damn_ it!" he turns and hits the wall, putting his fist through it.

"Oh, Jesus - _Artie_...!" Kimiyo rushes to him as he makes a pained groan, pulling his bloodied hand from the hole he's punched in the plaster. 

Arthur draws back, panting. "Don't touch me."

"Artie, you're _hurt_."

"I'm fine - _leave it_." He doesn't slam the door when he walks out, but the silence seems just as loud. Kimiyo feels irritated with herself for running after him to ask where he's going, but it's like she's on autopilot. "I'm going for a _walk_ , Kimiyo, because it's sure as hell not like I can _teleport_ anywhere," is the last thing Arthur says to her as the elevator doors close behind him.

He doesn't come back until after the kids are in bed asleep but when he does, Kimiyo has a first-aid kit ready and leads him to the kitchen table so that she can take a look at his hand. "I'm sorry," Arthur says, looking at the floor. "I'll fix the wall."

Kimiyo touches the bruised, blood-encrusted knuckles gently. "I'm sorry, too."

"You didn't do anything."

"No, you were right earlier," she says, frowning down at his hand while she X-rays it - he's broken two of his fingers and she reaches for the tape so that she can make a splint. "I haven't treated you very well in the past... it's something I've thought about while you were gone. I swore to myself that if you came back, we'd do things differently."

Arthur sighs. "I don't think this is going to work."

"...what?" Kimiyo looks up at him, shocked. "What did you just say?"

He meets her eyes, then looks away again. "While I was gone the only thing I wanted was to come back. Now I'm here, I don't think all of me survived the trip."

"You just need time to get used to being on Earth again," she says desperately. _It can't end like this, not again_. 

Arthur shakes his head. "It's been two months, and... it just isn't safe. Earlier, when I hit the wall-" he breaks off and tilts his head back to look up at the ceiling. "The wall wasn't what I truly wanted to hit," Arthur says carefully. 

"You'd never hurt me," Kimiyo insists angrily.

"This time I didn't. But what about next time, or the time after?" he asks, looking as miserable as she probably does. "I nearly killed you once already. When you sleep over, I have to make sure to stay awake until I can get out of bed and sleep on the floor. I've done that every night since I came back because if I... _did_ anything to you, I wouldn't be able to live with it. Can't you understand that? That's why... that's why I..."

Kimiyo closes her eyes, uncaring of the tears tracking their way down her cheeks. "Don't do this, Arthur. Please. Please don't."

"I promised I'd never leave you, and I couldn't stop from breaking that promise."

"Artie, _don't_...!"

"I have to break it again," he says, and it's small consolation that his voice is shaking just as badly as hers.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because _you_ won't." Suddenly his actions of the past two months make a twisted kind of sense - the drinking, the acting out...he'd been trying to force her into ending things between them. Unconsciously, for the most part, but Arthur seems to know exactly what he's doing this time.

To give herself time, foolishly hoping against hope that he'll reconsider, Kimiyo clears her throat loudly. "Why don't you let me finish taping your fingers? I have something for pain that shouldn't really be available outside a pharmacy, and you can just stay over tonight."

"Miko," he says gently.

"You can't mean _now_ , I'm not ready. We could sleep on it and in the morning-" she cuts herself off and leans over his hand, busying herself with taping the fingers together. "You said you loved me."

Arthur's good hand cups her jaw, forcing her to look up at him. "I do, Princess. I always _will_."

She presses her cheek into his palm, finishes taping his hand, and tucks her chin into her collarbone so that her hair falls around her face and she doesn't have to see Arthur walking out of her door for the very last time.

Kimiyo is left with a hole in the wall and a hole in her heart, and she can't tell which one is larger…because the same hand has made them both.

_fin_


End file.
